You Give Love a Bad Name

Rhea: Usually my biggest breakthroughs have come from my biggest disappointments and my biggest sufferings. And to the point where now I'm just like, Oh, you know what? I'm all right staying where I am if it means no more suffering and disappointment. Like I've done enough, I've had enough suffering. I've had enough disappointment. I've had enough broken hearts. I'm really happy to stay where I am and kind of coast at this level of evolution, because if any more evolution involves more pain, I don't know if I could survive it.

Liz: But then at some point it wasn't enough. You'd get your respites. You'd hit that point and be like, all right, I'm good. I think I just need to stop here. I can't take anymore. And I'd be like, okay, no problem. Have your rest do whatever it is, you've got to do. Do some self-care, take a break. And then what do you do a few days later? Knock, knock, knock. Alright. I can do just a little bit more.

Rhea: So if you imagine that the majority of my learning has come from relationships, but they've all taught it to me somehow through pain and suffering, usually not joy. So even when I have been learning through joy, I've been expecting for the pain to come. So it's kept me very defensive to life and to waiting for what the next thing is going to be. So okay, I'm really enjoying this moment with you where we're just lying in bed and chatting, but I can't enjoy it too much because if I enjoy it too much and my heart becomes too open, then I'm going to get really hurt because whatever lesson is meant to come is going to knock me back as well.

Liz: Yeah. And that's made the universe quite the enemy or villain in your story, hasn't it?

Rhea: Totally. Totally. It's made me scared of endings. It's made me scared of choosing myself. It's made me scared of my own growth and evolution because I feel like choosing myself, or I feel like learning to love myself a bit more comes at the expense of my relationships to others. And so I don't really know what to say or to do about that. And I'm hoping by the end of this podcast, I'll have some kind of resolution, but it is one of those things that I'm very aware of. It's just this idea that a change doesn't have to come at the expense of losing something that brings you joy. And it doesn't have to mean an ending. It can just mean a greater enjoyment of the current situation, but I can't get there conceptually because of what I've been through so far.

Liz: Right. And to be fair in your dealings with the "universe", which is really just sort of another word for just your very expanded self, including your guides and this whole scheme that you've been playing through in order to facilitate your personal evolution and growth. It also created a shit ton of resentment.

Rhea: Yeah.

Liz: Is this what I have to go through in order to get to my better self? Then that is fucked up. Does it have to hurt so damn much? And does it have to hurt lifetime after lifetime? Does my karmic story always mean I'm going to be bent over on the ground at the feet of whomever or whatever scenario, because I am too weak, too broken to pick myself back up?

Rhea: It's so painful, and it gives love a bad name. It makes you scared of love because you're like, do I really want more love if the price for it is pain? I don't think I do. I'm okay.

Liz: Yeah. And here we are again.

Rhea: It feels really backwards. It feels really backwards that love is pain, that we've associated love and pain and we've been made to associate love and pain.

Liz: It's the fact that we've associated the two, right? Yeah. And that was something that we had to buy into because of our 3D consciousness. So pain and suffering, they have always kind of underpinned our existence in polarity and separation. The virus and early 2020 was all about, can we finally say enough is enough? Our stories don't have to do with suffering.

Rhea: And are we? Can we be?

Liz: We can. Thankfully the virus was such a global thing in order to create a level of collective suffering, in order to fast track people's consciousness.

Rhea: But do you see what I mean about how much suffering fast tracks consciousness?

Liz: Yes. Your point was not lost on me, Rhea. I didn't disagree with you.

Rhea: Just saying - it's a bit backwards.

Liz: Yes, it is backwards. But that was the 3D structure we were playing in. In order to come into consciousness, we had to unpick and unravel every little bit that contributed to separation and polarity. Come out of that 3D framework. We had to do it by forcing our consciousness.

Rhea: So it's about rewriting the story?

Liz: No. It's about ending one story so we can start another.

Rhea: And how do we end a story?

Liz: Quite simply, you end the story about ending your suffering.

Rhea: And how do you end your suffering?

Liz: Exactly what you did. Divorce yourself from 3D.

Rhea: Did I divorce or break it up?

Liz: Same thing.

Rhea: But you just say that? Say I'm done? I make an intention?

Liz: You can, but you can't if you yourself from your soul level, to your emotional level, to your mental body, to your physical body, you contain all of your karma on all those levels and all your experiences. So it's really about wearing out all of that because . . .

Rhea: So I couldn't have done it earlier?

Liz: No, not at all. If you could have, you would have. We don't have awakenings. We only have becomings and we have stages to those becomings that match our knowing and our evolution. Early 2020 was really just about putting our fears in our face, just to make sure that we could really see all the damage we had wrought, lifetime over lifetime. We are here because of where we were. There's no judgment or shame around it. There's nothing wrong with it. It's just a story that we've played out. A story of powerlessness, a story of enslavement, a story of unhappiness, a story of misery, of inequality, of racial injustice, of social injustice.

Rhea: Effectively of hurting someone else to feel good.

Liz: Of hurting ourselves in the process because you don't come into oneness consciousness by just saying, we are all one. We have to go and look inside and figure out what connects me to that individual. So that's why we've just been kind of cycling through some crazy-ass scenarios since the beginning of this year. Is it World War III? Is the world going to burn down? Are we all going to die of some crazy virus I might've caught on an airplane or something? It was one thing after another. And how much is this going to impact my life? And then it really forced us to ask those bigger questions. Am I going to live alone the rest of my life? Will anybody love me for who I am? Will I find somebody to love in this lifetime? All those questions that we try to avoid having to ask in the first place by living lives of distraction, of entertaining ourselves to the point of exhaustion so we didn't have to sit with our misery. So that we had no choice but to sit with it, and it's really hard to sit with that broken heart, isn't it?

Rhea: I don't want to do it again.

Liz: I think you managed to mend it.

Rhea: It was really hard because I had to look at it and really accept that it was by my own hand. Only I made the choices to listen to the little voice that told me I was not good enough. Only I listened to the rules and follow them when they went against my truth. And they went against my truth, it was only me. Only I was the one who created the stories that took my interactions with other people and painted me in the unlovable lights. Only I reacted from those stories. Only I perceived my life in a certain way and therefore created it that way. As much as I'd like to blame my past lives or the structures I've been born in or anything else, it was only me who did it.

Liz: The moment we could choose ourselves, the moment we could start believing in ourselves, the moment we realized that we could live by our own values and standards and not someone else's rules was the moment we realized none of that mattered. The only way that we could understand our divinity in 3D was through what we thought was love. So we defined love in Episode 1 in order to really explain what love experienced in 5th dimensional oneness consciousness really is. But as you said before, as you've really had to unpick and rewire yourself for this new level of consciousness, you found that there are just times when it's not that simple, that you feel a little bit pulled back and pulled back into 3D thinking through judgment and shame because it doesn't come naturally yet because you're still just kind of developing the endurance, if you will. Because in many ways, we needed a certain version of love in order to help us survive 3D, and that kind of version of love we discussed before, which is the, we needed to source and be sourced by someone. So it made us very ripe for partnership of any kind, just to survive

Rhea: In some ways, all these rules about love and what it was and what it should be and how it needed to be seen and shown and recognized just kept us so far away from what love really was, which really is just those moments where you just feel the shine from inside and it emanates out because you're doing something you really love, or you're in that moment where things click and that's what love is. But when we're being told that love is all those other things, it's dimming our light. It's not shining it.

Liz: There's so many platitudes and clichés around love that have been so embedded in our knowing and our understanding, that it has taken time to really undo all of that. And the only way that we could really undo it in one fell swoop, if you will, is through pain and through this kind of final blow.

Rhea: Once the truth has hit you in the face and it fucking hurt, you see how my question about how you transcend . . . 

Liz: Oh yeah, absolutely.

Rhea: How do you transcend the learning process?

Liz: You don't transcend the learning process. You just stay within the learning process because we're always here to learn. But I think what you mean is how can we really move from one understanding to the next, without it really damaging how we experience things? Like if I'm always used to experiencing pain and suffering or my lessons through pain and suffering, how can I move into the next phase of my life without expecting that? Because I feel like it's always going to be that monkey on my back, that other shoe that's going to drop. Well, first of all, can you honestly tell yourself that you are fearless? The first way to really know that you are ready for this new way of living and existing that is meant to be heartful, that's meant to come from that joyful, emotional state. That is an expression of your divinity. That is an expression of your peace of mind, if you will. Where everything is just whole and can be delighted in is to know, am I afraid of anything? Because when you are truly in a fearless space, joy is only possible.

And the second one is how aligned with your purpose are you? Fear is your core fear that we have established around our survival, whether it be physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual, and that's massive. And those fears we can give context to through understanding our karmic stories. So when you have finished your karmic story, it is likely that there's enough fear that you've burned out. That stuff that you experienced, isn't going to be fear-based, but there might be some other issues around it. And again, that's kind of anxiety or doubts, or a lack of confidence. I haven't experienced this before, so I'm not so sure. That's not fear. So it's important to really just to distinguish those. So you're not always falling into the fear trap, if you will, and then creating a story around that when you really don't have any fear. While we said that those are the two things you need, the one thing that's kind of key to understanding whether or not you're fearless is, do I have a capacity to trust that not everything is going to be the same as it always was? And sometimes you don't come into that trust until you have a bit of time. And I've explained that to you like a while ago, when you were sort of like, I don't know if I can trust this. And I remember the advice to you was just give it a bit of time, Rhea, and you'll see the difference, and you have seen the difference.

Now, one thing that I find quite hopeful, and perhaps it's just sort of the blessing, if you will, of having two teenagers is I can see how fearless my kids are. I can see how they approach this world. I can see these younger generations and how connected they are to a sense of purpose and how they are not wired for 3D at all. And so they're really ready for this new world. And so I'm excited to see what comes of it when these younger generations really come of age and what they can accomplish, as long as we don't stand in their way.

Rhea: And how do we do we do that?

Liz: Well, first of all, we do it for ourselves. I mean, that was the whole point of so much of this work that we're sharing with everyone is to ensure that the younger generations don't have the same obstacles, that they're not having to learn through our karmic issues. They're not having to develop a karmic story or actually that they don't have to adopt our karmic story to support us, that they get to live free and clear of our bullshit. So the sooner we burn out our bullshit, the better off they are.

Rhea: Because we've seen what it's like to have the scars of what it's like to learn through pain and suffering. And if there's one thing we can give our kids is a different way of learning and evolution.

Liz: We do. We have the ability to love them differently.