We Don’t Need Another Hero Transcript

Rhea: So how do you define a hero?

Liz: I would say a hero is somebody that acts courageously in order to serve the greater good. At least historically, they are generally people who step up and perform extraordinary feats in times when people really need someone. Part of the hero story is sacrifice, sacrifice themselves or put their lives on the line to help others.

Rhea: And to have the balls to stand up. We've been so pushed to conform. We've been told conforming to society is how you're accepted.

Liz: For me, a hero is somebody who acts with integrity, speaks from the heart, acts from their truth, and I think it's something that we're all capable of, but I don't think that we're necessarily there to own it. We are still looking at others to save us, and this is what I call the Saviour Syndrome. You be the one to say something. I'm not going to say it.

Rhea: As a kid, you don't want to be ostracized for being different and you want to be seen to be attractive. You want to be seen to be popular. There's so many things that come from conforming in schools and trying to keep up with the peers. But I think quite quickly, definitely in my career, which I guess where I've always flowed more, it was quite interesting, isn't it? Because in my career I've never been scared to say no, whereas in my romantic life I am much more of a conforming person.

Liz: Yeah. You know, the hero is the good guy, which then presumes that there's a villain. And so then we find ourselves, once again on that polarity spectrum.

Rhea: Black and white.

Liz: Black and white, good, bad, good and evil.

Rhea: Which you call separation.

Liz: Separation. It's a hallmark of third dimensional reality. So in our fictional stories even, we're still processing this very idea of the hero.

Rhea: Are we talking romantic hero or not romantic hero?

Liz: One of the many ways in which we play out the hero story is in romance. They are people who seem to be capable of something we aren't. That in a time of crisis and a time of need that there was going to be this person to step up and take care of us, but it's also paralyzed us. The fact that we live with this very idea that someone else is going to take care of us means that we're not taking care of ourselves fully.

Rhea: And we're also waiting for someone to take care of us.

Liz: Exactly. We've been playing a waiting game.

Rhea: Waiting for someone to save us. But the reality is that fifth dimensional consciousness will not come when you're an inactive state. There's a time to wait and there's a time to act. We put our heroes on these pedestals where they cease being human, and they become superhuman and then they become superheroes. Whether they have magical powers or just incredible human capacity for love or healing or teaching, we have elevated them in such a godlike manner that to us, heroes are somehow untouchable, unreachable.

Rhea: Infallible.

Liz: And then how could we ever be like that? We cannot and therefore I can never be a hero, even in my own story, because I am not that. So therefore I need someone else to come and be my hero for me. So then we find ourselves in this loop. I cannot take care of myself. I cannot solve my own problems. I am helpless. I am powerless. I need someone to come save me.

Rhea: Is it possible to feel that way about certain aspects of your life, but not about others?

Liz: I think we can be capable in some area, and need or expect a hero in another, and often in relationship, in that sort of that simple 'romantic' sense, that's when we start to look to the other person as being our hero.

Rhea: Prince Charming.

Liz: And that's what creates our romantic hero story for men and women. You will complete me. You will save me.

Rhea: Therefore, I must remain incomplete until then.

Liz: Absolutely. I can't seem like I don't need anybody. If I seem like I don't need anyone, no one's going to want me.

Rhea: Being whole doesn't mean not needing other people. It's just I don't need you to save me. I need different things from you.

Liz: I need companionship.

Rhea: I need love.

Liz: Yeah. Saving isn't serving. The idea that to be saved, I must sacrifice myself.

Rhea: To need a hero, I need to be saved. Therefore I keep myself in a place of detriment so that someone else can help save me.

Liz: Or subservience. Or powerlessness. So we're never fully actualizing our power. We're never fully actualized as beings when the notion of needing a saviour exists, when we're always having to look outside of ourselves. I mean you can be saved and pulled out of any kind of situation by a 'hero', but you can also find yourself in that very same position a year later. So long as we hold onto the idea that somebody is going to save us, that we need saving, then we are sort of cutting ourselves off at the knees when it comes to our spiritual growth.

Rhea: We feel like we've got to earn the right to be saved and then we've got to earn the right to remain saved.

Liz: All the virtue signalling that's taking place. I am such an amazing person because I care about this issue.

Rhea: So you know, I would actually argue it's the opposite. We earn being saved by being damaged. We don't earn being saved by being fixed. I do believe that people are here to save themselves, that your world and how you experience your world is directly correlated to how much you love and embrace who you are. The more you're able to do that, the more at peace your life will be.

Liz: That means living authentically. When you're living your truth, you're saying, this is who I choose to be. This would be my sexual preference. This is how I like to wear my hair. These are my daily practices. This is who I Am. Now, when you are living authentically, when you are in a place of complete authenticity, it means that you are owning and living your divine self.

Rhea: Which is?

Liz: It means that we recognize that none of that really matters when we operate from a soul level, that our souls are connected. It's a complete ego-less state.

Rhea: So for me, living authentically is being totally accepting of how you feel in every moment and respond accordingly. So who am I? Who are you? Who is this podcast? Who are any of these people to tell someone else this is the blueprint of how you should be? Because everyone is so different. Everyone is so unique. Everyone has a different purpose. They have different experiences. There is no way that what works for me will 100% work for someone else in the same way.

Liz: No one is here to save anyone and we're not going to be saved by anyone. That was never the point. The point of this entire exercise in this lifetime and where we're coming to now was for us to wake up to that realization that one, no one was going to save us and that we needed to save ourselves, and that the entire notion is really just a cop out for not owning our power.

Rhea: And so when you say no one's here to save us, you mean no one can heal what we need to heal ourselves?

Liz: Exactly.

Rhea: So all the hurt, all the pain, all the trauma where we're triggered, no one is going to heal that for us.

Liz: No one can.

Rhea: No one's going to get into your shadow and pull it out and sort it out.

Liz: No. And no one is able to.

Rhea: And I think that's the mistake is that a lot of us think, Oh, it'll be fine. I will meet the love of my life and he will fix these parts of me that don't trust.

Liz: Or I'll go to a Tony Robbins seminar and he'll tell me how to live and I'm going to feel really good about that. You're surrendering your power.

Rhea: Because you're saying you know better than me.

Liz: I can't do this without you.

Rhea: By surrendering our power, we're doing what we've said borderline every episode now—are we getting bored of it? Maybe a little, but we will continue . . .

Liz: I'm not.

Rhea: But by surrendering your power to someone else and saying, I think you know better than me what will make me happy, not only is it a cop out totally, because actually it's spiritual bypass—you're just going around and going, well this makes me feel better for now so therefore it'll do—we're also cutting off the one route to our wholeness because the only person who knows what actually will make you happy is you. It might work for a short period of time to be following someone else's prescription for happiness, but if it's not who you are really in your heart, then it's not going to last very long. All you're going to do is be chasing that high and that's why it's addictive. 

Because once you find the high of 'Oh, I feel better now' and then it doesn't last because invariably it won't because it's not coming from inside of you. It's coming to you. Once that high fades, you're going to look for the next person to give you a high. So you'll be jumping from almost saviour to hero, to saviour to hero, looking for that consistent happiness, that consistent piece. But you’re never gonna find it unless you kind of stop and look at it from yourself, and I've definitely been this person and I know other people who've been this person where it's just like I keep going to see people to tell me how I can fix my life and I follow them for a bit. But then when a hard question comes or a hard decision comes, I am then stuck going back to them to ask them what to do because I don't trust myself enough. I can't make the choice because I don't know what that is yet, because I've spent so much time giving other people my power, listening to them tell me what makes me happy, that when I then have to make a choice on what's going to make me happy, I'm stuck.

Liz: Oh yeah.

Rhea: ‘Cause we don't trust that what we feel inside is enough.

Liz: And it's not to even say or to be critical of those teachers that we really need right now.

Rhea: No, of course not, because . . .

Liz: Those who are really signalling over here is the path to wholeness. It is not a single path. Perhaps there are many roads that maybe look this way, not that way. Don't fall into the ego traps. Maybe do this.

Rhea: A lot of people who are on this journey to finding out who they really are do need the guidance—initially.

Liz: Point is that we're not here to save others. We're here to empower others to save themselves, to make ourselves redundant. Our goal for any teacher is to always sort of turn the lessons around to ensure that the person who comes to them is empowered at every turn. That the answers come from them, not from you. People tend to mistake the fact that the answer is coming from the teachers are really the teacher's answers.

Rhea: Well, I think that in general . . . I mean even I know when my friends come to me for advice, I can't help but give them advice based on my experiences because I think that there is two phases of work. The first phase of work (Series One) is about really finding out who you are, but that's the tip of the iceberg. There are bits to come from that. First of all, it's giving other people the space to be truly them. Now I know what it feels like, I can apply that lesson to my life, but it's a constant process. So sitting around. Waiting to be saved, waiting to be rescued, not making the choice to say I know who I am, but then still sitting around waiting for someone else to tell you who you are in other aspects, that's bullshit.

Liz: You could sort of be at that point of, I know who I am, but I still have this bit of self-doubt and so I'm still going to just sit around because I'm not sure how to act. Sometimes it's okay just to be in that state because we are always in motion. We will get out of it. Now I'm not saying be complacent about it. Continue to live your life. Don't just become a shut-in with it.

Rhea: When you've done enough work to know who you truly are, you start learning that someone else's solution to your problem most often than not will not be your solution too. And so whilst you're sitting there waiting to be saved by someone else, the reason why they can't save you is because they literally cannot save you. They don't have the solution for you.

Liz: No.

Rhea: They don't. They don't have even an understanding of the problem to give you the solution. They can talk about emotions that you can connect with them on certain levels, but ultimately the work is from you. Once you've learned who you are, you've got to apply it. Someone else can't apply it for you.

Liz: They might have a lot of useful suggestions, but those lessons and those ideas don't fully take root when they're not from you. Not trusting ourselves to help ourselves, we've robbed ourselves of the freedom to act on our own behalf so we've given up that agency. And so to me, ideally a teacher, whatever kind of teacher you have never robs you of that freedom and never asks you to surrender that freedom.

Rhea: Because they can give you advice but that advice is not conditional, and always feel free to make your own choices and to disagree.

Liz: Oh, absolutely. So ultimately, if we are seeking advice, if we are seeking help, we are seeking a teacher because we know we cannot do all of this alone and it's perfectly fine.

Rhea: My experience with you. Even the fact that we're doing this podcast and not just with you, with all the different people and books and things I listened to that helped me see the world from a different perspective, that bit is super healthy.

Liz: Super healthy, and we need them at this moment, you know. Now more than ever as we really are looking to accelerate our growth, not just for ourselves but future generations, it's really important that we always see that they are there for our growth and that we are not there for their growth.

Rhea: We are so desperate to be saved . . .

Liz: So desperate!

Rhea: That we will take whoever we have decided will save us—their word, their actions, their teachings—as gospel, as right, as wrong and follow it so blindly that not only do we lose the freedom to make any of our own choices, but we stop living our own purpose. We stop listening to ourselves. And what you were saying before, it's cutting us off at the knees by giving away our own power. What I hear is it's cutting us off at the knees because we're putting a block between listening to ourselves and that's our own power.

Liz: And if you cannot listen to yourself, you cannot connect to yourself and then you cannot connect to your power, and then you cannot connect to your divinity.

Rhea: So either what you're doing with this kind of Saviour Syndrome stuff is waiting for someone to come save you, wondering where they are, looking for anyone to actually do it eventually. Once you have found that person, then you hear their words as gospel and block the connection between you and your own voice. So you’ve then lost your power. None of this is listening to yourself. None of this is connecting to you. None of this is connecting to your joy and as we know from all the episodes that have preceded, that's where the magic is. That when you are having that limiting belief: I can't save myself, then you won't, and then in every situation you are put into, you will look for someone else to save you, and that is not growing up.

Liz: Not at all. Because then you remain within the context of that limiting belief that you are not worthy.