Unpretty Transcript

Rhea: I think there's so much wisdom in this season.

Liz: There is.

Rhea: I really, really do. But I just think it's a tough season.

Liz: It's a tough season because untapping your wisdom is tough. Really getting to the root and the source of our wisdom means sifting through a shitload of pain. It boggles the human mind that people would choose to suffer. We can't fully understand why people would opt for pain. We really can't even conceive of why we would choose separation in the first place. Why are we choosing this really shitty 3D but it's accelerating our growth and our evolution and it's getting us to the point of Oneness Consciousness that we're all striving for. Until we really learn what we need to learn, sometimes we're going to opt for those kind of weird, twisted dynamics that don't make sense to people. When we're constantly seeking outside opinions, which is essentially judgment because they don't know better, we are surrendering a certain amount of our autonomy and power, our own agency when it comes to learning what's going to work for us or not, and that's the beauty of this episode is that we're sort of close to the end of the season, which is all about spiritual maturity. It's all about coming into your spiritual and emotional and mental adulthood. All about really owning yourself and taking responsibility, and how can we do that if we're constantly doing what other people tell us to do or thinking what other people tell us to think?

Rhea: And it's more than that. It's going against what we feel because other people have a different opinion. Because I think sometimes, you know when a friend or a loved one says to you, my opinion is X or Y, and you go, yeah, that actually feels really right and I feel the same way. I agree. That's one thing.

Liz: But that requires a level of discernment that's making certain mistakes or figuring things out on your own allows.

Rhea: 100%. I really think that this path, you could have inspiration from others but you can't be influenced by others. I think that's a really big difference.

Liz: Because the pain of separation is so big, because it really does literally tear us apart, we've kept things very surface. I can only deal with my pain so much.

Rhea: Sometimes our pain is so buried so deep that either we want to say that acting in certain ways removes it, or we think it's healed well before it is because we just don't want to go those extra layers.

Liz: Right. I've healed just enough. It has gotten me here. My life looks good. I've met my list, but then it might be the other signs that we haven't dealt with at all. Maybe our body starts to break down. Maybe certain relationships don't work out even if we're in a solid partnership, maybe there are other things that are trying to get us to wake up because as we've said before, our lessons are never fully finished. We're always learning layer by layer, not going to necessarily disrupt things and blow everything up.

Rhea: It's just I think after a while when you recognize it, things come to strengthen it, not to teach you.

Liz: Yes, but you're still learning through that strengthening. You're strengthening your knowing by incorporating more wisdom, so that's a great way to see it.

Rhea: Sometimes it's far easier to treat the symptoms, to do enough so our mind is satisfied, so we continue to ignore our heart. That's what I used to do, right? I used to look at my experience, look at the results, which was not optimal, and then I'd go back through the whole experience and be like, okay, at what point could I have either walked away sooner? Could I have said something different? What did I do wrong in this experience that would allow me to avoid the same outcome next time? That's not me strengthening my knowing. That's using my mental body to protect me from future pain. Pain is only there to teach us something. Once we've learned it, that pain stops existing. If I could summarize my experience, my learning is that we have initial wounds. Because they hurt so much when they happened, we are just trying to avoid reliving them, but actually that is the opposite of what we should be doing.

Liz: Well, it's the opposite of what would be helpful.

Rhea: Yes.

Liz: So that would bring us real actual healing.

Rhea: And real relief.

Liz: Yes.

Rhea: And freedom, because by saying let's look at what I did wrong last time and let's avoid doing it the next time, I therefore have less freedom. It's not acting in integrity. It's acting in fear. So actually the true knowing of this does not suit me. This is what I want.

Liz: Well, that knowing what you want is a by-product of the healing that takes place and knowing the difference is discernment.

Rhea: Yeah. I have enough shitty experiences in this arena, whatever that may be, that I'm going to choose myself now and I'm going to choose it from deep inside. I'm not going to choose it because I don't want this specific outcome to happen again.

Liz: Or because I'm told I need to choose myself, somebody that I admire and respect or who inspires me or seems to have it together or know more than I do or know better than I do is saying this is the key and I'm going to go down that path because I need to save me from myself.

Rhea: Exactly.

Liz: I'm clearly fucking up too much. I don't want to live this way. I don't want to continue to be in pain. I don't want to suffer. I don't want to keep attracting this type of person.

Rhea: So it’s just avoiding. It's not about someone else saving you from yourself. It's not about you saving yourself from yourself. It's about you choosing yourself, and as a result, you having the faith that you are worthy enough of being chosen, you are enough to be chosen and therefore you can choose what you want.

Liz: And that you are enough to live the life that you can fully create for yourself.

Rhea: Without anyone else going, it should look this way. And I think that's the difference and that's what the big lesson for me was.

Liz: It should ideally never be at your expense, which it ends up being.

Rhea: And because you're faking it. Look how organized my life is. Look how great it is. I've done all this healing, I've done all this work and my life, you can tie it now with a pretty little bow and look at this beautiful story. I can sell it to other people. You really want to be with that guy that right now is giving you like zero face or do this and at the end he'll come back. When you do what someone else tells you you should do and you get a desired result initially, what's going to happen next?

Liz: Oh yes. Exactly.

Rhea: Your fears are still there. You're still going to be waiting for the day that they leave you because you still think you're not good enough. Unless you solved your core shit, then it's not going anywhere. You just learned how to deal with it better or you know how to mask it better or frankly you learn how to fake it better.

Liz: Absolutely, and you pretty much just put it all on that person that it somehow is fixed.

Rhea: If they do walk away for whatever reason . . . 

Liz: Or they disappoint you.

Rhea: Or they disappoint you in any way, even if it's tiny, everything crumbles. Your whole knowing crumbles cause that's not real knowing.

Liz: No. It's not. It begins to make you feel betrayed. The Universe just betrayed me, didn't give me what I wanted.

Rhea: I did the work it told me to do. I followed the rules it told me to follow and it still didn't work out. Yeah, because the only rule that is worth following is the one that comes from inside. It's not the one that you think will bring you love. It's not the one that you think will bring you appreciation or adoration or support or approval. It's the one that brings you peace and that's a very different feeling.

Liz: Very.

Rhea: Because the one that brings you peace is the one that your heart is telling you to do. It's the move that's most beneficial to you, because otherwise it wouldn't bring you peace.

Liz: You are just at one with yourself. That's what that is. That's Oneness.

Rhea: I remember when I was presented with that situation that made me feel uneasy, effectively a fear.

Liz: Pretty much a lot at the time.

Rhea: Every other minute. Every other moment I feel so nervous and I'd be like, I need a sign. I need to know what to do next.

Liz: Someone tell me please.

Rhea: I just stopped. I actually thought to myself, which of these is going to bring me the most peace? Then I would have known exactly what to do just totally by myself in a dark room, but no, that's not where I went.

Liz: We're not thinking about peace. We're thinking about what will give me my most desired outcome, which will be what will make me feel successful, what will make me look pretty, what will earn me a certain amount of approval?

Rhea: Approval, because if you look at the ego being the thing that needs to protect us from finding out we're not good enough. It wants us to do all the things that other people tell us we're good enough so that we can believe them so we don't have to listen to ourselves. If you tell me I'm good enough, then maybe I'll believe it too. What I used to do is I used to then go on Instagram or I go talk to friends and I look at all the memes. I read all the advice and then I've read one post and it would be like walking away is the only true measure of worth and I'd be like, oh my God, I should walk away. It's telling me to walk away.

Liz: If you have any self-worth.

Rhea: But it wasn't bringing me peace. It was bringing me total and utter anxiety.

Liz: Of course.

Rhea: Because that was clearly not the route I should have gone down. But then I started obsessing about it, obsessing about it, obsessing about it. I should be walking away. I should be walking away. I should be walking away. Why am I not walking away?

Liz: It's a test.

Rhea: And then I spent like at least one or two nights ping-ponging between what actually brought me peace and what everyone else was telling me to do.

Liz: In order to bring yourself peace.

Rhea: In order to bring myself peace. Saying whatever I needed to say that was authentic and honest was actually the only way to actually bring me peace because maybe that part of my heart that I was healing, that wound that I was healing was a wound where I was silenced. Maybe by listening to everyone else and following their advice, I was continuing that lesson of silencing myself and the only way to break it was actually to be honest. You don't know what the lesson is until it's done anyway. So the only way you're going to find out is if you actually listen to yourself. For all I know actually, by continuing to listen to all these Instagram memes and people giving me advice, I was further silencing my knowing and then I'd be stuck repeating the lesson somewhere else.

Liz: And it could be that once you've expressed yourself, you might also learn that in saying what you say, maybe that actually didn't really bring the relief that you thought it would, but it started you on something. It unlocked something. Well, that didn't really work like I thought it was going to, but it gave you the courage to really examine and own your actions, and then you could try something else.

Rhea: You do know when the lesson is done. You really do. It's not just a feeling of peace anymore. It's a feeling of lightness and genuinely, it's almost like you forget the person existed.

Liz: Oh yeah.

Rhea: You still know that they exist on the planet.

Liz: You might've forgotten their name.

Rhea: You might have genuinely forgotten their name and it can happen very quickly, but it's just that weight on your heart, on your chest.

Liz: And on your head and on your mind. I remember feeling those, that pressure on my brain.

Rhea: It's just all honestly quite instantaneously, it just lifts and yes, maybe the same person will then come and teach you another lesson, another lesson or someone else.

Liz: And they'll might teach you another facet of that bigger lesson.

Rhea: Listen to someone else tell you what made them feel peace. Well, that was their lesson.

Liz: We got to a point because we've existed in this state of powerlessness that we are so ready to believe all the stuff that sounds good, all the stuff that sounds really pretty, all these platitudes that gets served up, layered upon a really pretty image that we can spot in two seconds in our feed. At the end of the day, that only sort of feeds us for about the two to three minutes that we're on social media.

Rhea: It'll only penetrate when you've actually done the thing you meant to do.

Liz: Or when you've really embarked on that path and kept going and kept going and kept going, and no one's going to give you that. And that's really what I find so troubling.

Rhea: We are feeling as humanity that something's changing. Our pain is getting bigger and stronger ‘cause it wants us to wake up. So we're looking for relief. So it's like this perfect melting pot of I'm in so much more pain than I've ever been in before or I'm aware of it in a way that I wasn't aware of it before, and on the other side is I feel like there's something bigger out there. Put those two together and it's this melting pot of this must be my solution, but we're all very different with all our very different experiences, thoughts, beliefs, upbringings, DNA, soul DNA, cosmic DNA, physical DNA. Everything about us is different to each other. Even identical twins have different souls. The only thing true spiritual influencer should be influencing is your empowerment.

Liz: Though we're not here to shape consciousness. We're here to help consciousness emerge.

Rhea: It's not about dissing everyone in this whole situation.

Liz: No, no, no.

Rhea: At all. It's about saying, use your own judgment. Use your own discernment.

Liz: Use your own discernment.

Rhea: Is it making you feel anxious? Is it triggering you? Don't follow anyone blindly. If someone has a good heart at least, and they're putting this out there because they genuinely want to help you, at least watching them will make you feel a bit lighter because their vibration is lighter, whether or not anything that I'm saying is actually true.

Liz: Oh totally. 100%.

Rhea: But it's just when actually the goal there is to exploit fearful people by offering them a solution that is not actually a solution at all.

Liz: Not in the long term, at least.

Rhea: No, as you already said. It can be something short term that allows you to survive for another couple of weeks before you have to face it again, but that's not freedom.

Liz: Because that just becomes another coping mechanism. I really am working on my shit because I'm doing this workshop and I'm doing that workshop and I'm following this person, that person. I am doing great. I am on that healing path but no, that's actually just a way to cope.

Rhea: The only way to genuinely be free of your shit is to walk through the fire.

Liz: Unfortunately

Rhea: And when I say walk through the fire, I don't mean just make mistakes for the sake of it and be contrary for the sake of it. It's to literally do what brings you peace because it's living from the inside out. The more you do what brings you peace, the more you will become more peaceful, and the more you're more peaceful, the more your environment will reflect that peace back at you. That is the only way.

Liz: The other issue though is with those who are just out there with a huge following and they're spouting out all these things that sound really amazing and they're talking about star seeds. It's all lovely, but again, that's a gazillion steps beyond where we really need to be at the moment. We're just emerging in our consciousness. Can we just get that done first?

Rhea: At the moment, the majority of us are still in fear of some kind. We are still in pain of some kind.

Liz: We're like children in our spiritual maturity. It's really what it is. We are children who are afraid of the dark and until we can really deal with . . . 

Rhea: Really switch on the light inside, we're not going to be any less afraid.

Liz: Well, personal healing does not really work when you "follow" people. It has everything to do with getting in touch with yourself. You're going to know if someone's legit, when they hold the mirror up to you, not when they tell you how to think or what to think. But when they hold up the mirror and ask you.

Rhea: How does that make you feel?

Liz: And really feel? Where are you not in peace? Where is that separation? Where do you hold that fear? And that's when you can really begin your healing.