Ray of Light

Rhea: Like anything when it comes to change, you're entrenched in one thing for so, so long and you go totally to the other side, and then once you're at the other side, then you kind of find somewhere in the middle. A really good example would be me and my relationship to boundaries. I have no boundaries; I have no boundaries at all. Then all of a sudden, I have enough, I want boundaries. Then I get really fucking ridiculously firm boundaries that don't really work for anyone, including myself. And then you kind of swing back and kind of end up somewhere in the middle where you've tested having no boundaries, you've tested having ridiculous boundaries and you've come to some kind of middle ground. So I kind of feel like it's almost the same on a societal level, whereas before everyone was conforming, everyone was conforming, no one had their own boundaries in a way. No one was different from each other, and then all of a sudden it went to 'I'm going to be so different because I need to make sure that I'm individual, that I'm going to be so individual compared to everyone else'. And then things will slowly come to a place where we can all be individual, but we can all be a bit the same as well and it's okay. So it's kind of that swing, but I do think the result now where we're going to go through that, let's be extra outliers is that it's not as shocking as it used to be. It's kind of almost normal to be very, very different in some levels.

Liz: Very much. I mean, there is a struggle of coming out of any closet.

Rhea: For me, it was coming out of the spiritual one.

Liz: Oh, same here, same for sure. And there was a time, I would think I went years and years and years being in the spiritual closet, straddling two worlds in sort of real life, 3D world. I was somebody's wife, somebody's mom, feeling like there were certain things I couldn't talk about at certain dinners.

Rhea: It's a lot of what we talked about in the final season of episode one. For me as well, it was very much this idea that I was one person in one arena and I was one person in another, especially coming from that story of I need to be like you so you love me. It meant that in different places, I was different people. They were all aspects of me, but they will never fully me. And so, it was very much just kind of the 3D world of these parts of me are wrong so they're going to be hidden for when I'm by myself. These parts of me are acceptable so these are the ones I'm going to highlight and showcase to everyone else in order to gain their approval.

Liz: And the more people came out of the closet, the more it somehow became okay to be the non-conformist at the dinner party. Suddenly you were popular and you were the center of attention.

Rhea: Because you were cool.

Liz: You were cool, and we talked about that in Season Two how the more different you were somehow, the more you seemed to be, if you will, your own hero of your story. We've held up outliers, like we've propped them up in some cases. I mean, think about it. Jesus was one of the most famous outliers.

Rhea: True. True. True. It's a very strange thing because in some respects, it does take a lot of courage to become an outlier. And in looking for someone else to be an outlier, we are saying, oh look, they can be different, so can I. They are saving me from myself. They are becoming my hero because they have allowed me to think I could be more than what people tell me to be.

Liz: Exactly. If they can do that, then I can too.

Rhea: Exactly. And yeah, in 3D, it definitely meant someone who didn't conform to societal expectations, who didn't listen to necessarily the rules, but it felt like it was more of an act of rebellion, born from pain rather than this is who I am and this is who I'm sticking to. And it's a bit like when we were talking about me and my boundaries are the same thing. I'm going to put down huge boundaries, say, I cannot do this at all, rather than . . .

Liz: I won't. I refuse.

Rhea: I refuse to do this rather than I can do this on my terms in a way that suits both you and me. So, it's again that kind of sacrifice versus compromise that we talked a little bit about in Season Three as well.

Liz: Yes. Very much, very much. And you know, to be fair, those outliers, especially the ones who grow up in 3D, the world needed them.

Rhea: Totally.

Liz: Again, it kept us from all being sheep that we could sort of have these examples of people who said it doesn't have to be this way.

Rhea: Exactly.

Liz: If you were sacrificing yourself, if you were miserable, if you were unable to live authentically with integrity, maybe here's another way. And those are the rays of light, right? The more people sort of came out of their closets, suddenly not only was it cool to rebel, it was almost like, well then you just ended up conforming.

Rhea: By rebelling.

Liz: And also conforming to their standard of rebellion and therein created another problem.

Rhea: Exactly. Whereas actually, and what we've been teaching for this whole time.

Liz: Are you bored yet?

Rhea: No, no, no. I just thought . . .

Liz: No, no, no, no. That’s what I mean. That when you’re saying that’s what we’ll be teaching this whole time and I’m like, are you bored? 

Rhea: No, no, no, no. It's interesting because we are looking at it from lots of different ways, because you think, Oh, there are rules and you're just like, Oh, well . . . whatever to the rules. But then you start seeing that there are rules everywhere. So for example, when faced with a new experience put on the table, I then go, well, should I do it wholeheartedly like this because that's what non-conformists do? Should I say no a hundred percent because that's what traditionalists do? And it almost didn't feel like there was a middle ground of what can I take from this that makes sense for me, and what can I say doesn't make sense to me in this moment?

Liz: What does Rhea want to do?

Rhea: Exactly. What does Rhea want to do? And probably is Rhea ready to admit to herself what she wants to do? Because I feel that was the big thing for me as well. Was it like part of this I really want to do, but I still think it's not okay to do it, but I also don't want to do it like this. Whilst there are no more rules in many ways, and whilst we are trying to live our truth, really to be a true individual and to be that kind of ray of light, as it were, it's really to be asking yourself, what do I really want and then believing that it's possible to have it.

Liz: Completely.

Rhea: You don't have to have this box or that box. You can make your own box.

Liz: Yes. And that really comes down to what our heart's desires tell us that we really want. And like you said, do I have the strength? Do I have the courage to own my heart's desires? To be willing to admit them to myself?

Rhea: To have the courage to accept the uncertainty of what follows them?

Liz: Yes. Yes. Because no one has carved this path for us. No one could carve this path

Rhea: No. In order to really embrace your heart's desires also means accepting that they are your heart's desires, and whatever comes next from them is okay, because it's part of who you are, if that makes sense and you can't break out of the mold or can't admit something to yourself, but at the same time, try and mitigate the fallout of that later. Because as we've said, control is just another version of fear. So effectively what you're doing is you're accepting your heart's desires, but you're still scared of them because you think you're going to be punished for them later, and I definitely see that in not just my personal life and my work life. We had a conversation earlier on today where I was slightly panicking about the volume of work we had. And I was worried that if I didn't, because my heart's desire is to do it, I want to do it. I want to create all this amazing stuff. Of course I do, but at the same time …

Liz: Because it's part of your purpose. It's not your purpose, but it's certainly an extension of it.

Rhea: Exactly. Well, that's nice to know, but I want to do all these things, but there is always that part of me that goes, but if I make it mine, if I create it in the space and the time that makes sense for me, am I going to be somehow punished in some way for owning who I am? When you talk about your heart's desires and how it's part of our purpose, can you explain that a bit more, cause sometimes I get a bit confused?

Liz: So do I, because I feel like we've had, and we wrote about it in our book. We've talked about it in previous episodes and it's a funny word because I think we used it a lot and a lot of people are talking about it more and more. I don't know if you've been seeing that.

Rhea: And I think obviously we over define everything and that's maybe the lawyer in me saying, well, this is what we mean by this. But.

Liz: Soul Memory likes meanings.

Rhea: And I love words, so it makes sense.

Liz: We like definitions.

Rhea: So how would you describe purpose? How would you define it?

Liz: Well, I'll tell you what it's not. It's not your job necessarily. Like what we were talking about earlier, when you were like my desire to not work tomorrow, because it's going to be 30 degrees and I just want to be out and enjoy it somehow is going to ruin my life, because I want to serve my Purpose and I want to do it to the best of my ability, but if I'm seen as slacking off, I'm going to be punished. That's not okay. That's not how we approach our Purpose. That's how we approach our jobs. I'm going to get fired from my job because I took an hour lunch when I was only allowed to take 15. So, our Purpose is not necessarily our job or our hobby. Now it could be like in our case, our work is certainly an extension of our purpose because we love it so much. It is truly our heart's desires being expressed, isn't it?

Rhea: Through living my Purpose, I have seen the dots finally start to line up.

Liz: Yes.

Rhea: I don't want to be fired from my Purpose, in the simplest way possible. Does that make even so yeah, so sometimes and of course, part of my Purpose could very well be choosing myself and sitting in a fucking park in 30 degrees and enjoying the day and being in love, because sometimes sitting in love with your friends and with yourself and with someone you care about, that's also joy. That's also love. That's also Purpose.

Liz: And it sources us.

Rhea: Yes, exactly. But I don't see... I haven't quite -, and this is a very 5D thing that I'm also learning to manage even though I lived my 5D job life in 3D easy as pie, because I was just an outlier.

Liz: Very much.

Rhea: I was just telling everyone else, fuck you. This is not how I think work should work. I'm going to go do my own thing.

Liz: That's right.

Rhea: But I still had to prove that my way of work worked, so it still involved a lot of effort, but also a lot of fear. Imagine this doesn't.

Liz: Yes. Scrambling. Scrambling to make sure that you were earning it to prove everyone else wrong.

Rhea: Exactly. To prove everyone wrong. Exactly. Whereas something like this, what's interesting about this is that I have never been happier in my work than when we're talking about this kind of stuff. I'm learning. I love learning. I love thinking. I love feeling. I love helping people. I love all these things. I love it, and literally I couldn't have designed a better thing for me to do with all the things I love doing.

Liz: Oh, amazing.

Rhea: But there still is, and this is what it is. I'm still trying to balance to not treat it like it's got to be earnt, and that it's not inherently me. And then I feel, how could I let this thing down that has helped me create this most beautiful life that I wanted? I can't let it down, and then I whip myself into this frenzy. And then of course, like we were talking about boundaries. I start resenting it instead. I mean, I'm talking about it from like a place of work, but it could be from a place of anything. It could be a place of family, children, relationships. It could be anything.

Liz: Completely. You really get to tap into what makes you happy. What brings you your greatest joy? And Purpose is about that, because Purpose is how we express our divinity. So if we're all divine expressions at our very core, we're all connected. We're all one because in our deepest core, we are the same. We are divine, if you will, and Purpose is actually something that you do not create. What you do through your Purpose is something you create. But your Purpose itself is, as we said before, something you discover because it's inherently you. So it's not your job. It's not your hobby. Our Purpose has nothing to do with the product or outcome of our actions and what we do with our Purpose. Does that make sense? So your Purpose is not necessarily this podcast. Your Purpose was not to write a book, but all of those are extensions and results of your Purpose.

Rhea: My purpose is to live the life I want to live. So that means everything I do has to come back to that. So yes, the podcast ... I love talking about my feelings and I love learning new things. So the podcast is part of my Purpose because I'm living the life I want to live by doing that bit. The book... I love fucking writing. I love writing. It brings me such joy. So in doing that, when the book is finished, I've lived the life I want to live. When I'm lying in bed with someone I care about, I'm living the life I want to live. When I share a happy moment with a friend or when I sit by myself in the park and read a book, I'm living the life I want to live. And that is me living my Purpose. So all the things I do around that, it's just an extension and expression of me living the life I want to live. And yes, I could drill down into it and go, well, maybe my Purpose is to have experienced all of this so that I could teach other people how to do the same, but that's never going to be all of it, because that would be my Purposes for someone else only. But if we are one, if we are a collective, my Purpose isn't just to serve others. It's to serve me too.

Liz: In being in service to yourself, you are able to serve others

Rhea: Exactly. In order to really create what you want with someone else or with other people or with a whole collective, you have to do it for yourself first.

Liz: But what really matters when we're in this energy is why we do what we do? Life is meant to be enjoyed, and I think we have this sense that if we are spiritual beings here and we have to fix everything, we have to do everything, where we are in service to ourselves and as a result, others, and we're here to help everyone evolve, just as we have to evolve and grow, it's a lot. It's a lot. But as you said, ideally, it could also be fun. Ideally, we can have a sense of humor about it. Ideally, we don't have to take it all so seriously where in order for me to do and live my Purpose because I care so much about other people, I need to change the world. I mean, come on. Do we all need to be walking around with these lofty ideals, or these noble ideals to end hunger, or the saintly ideals that we're here to preach God's word, if you will? I think we are a testament to the fact that you can do a little bit, some of it, none of it, and you're going to be just fine. That's not the point. I think we kind of are. I think we're doing a little bit of it in different ways. I think that we set ourselves up for a lot of disappointment and a sense of failure when we take it all so seriously and we make such a big deal about it, and it doesn't mean that it's not meant to be a big deal because our purpose is important to us. It's who we are, and we need to hold ourselves to a certain standard. We need to remain authentic and be in our own integrity. So yeah, it's a bit serious on the one hand, but at the same time, my gosh, if that's all we did, we'd be so boring.

Rhea: Yeah. It's true. My Purpose is just me. Living my Purpose is doing what makes me happy, whether it's creating a website, talking about my feelings, writing about my feelings or just sitting in the park on a sunny day.

Liz: Yeah. I think for me, my Purpose also just brings me a great deal of peace because I know I'm living my truth, the truth that I kept hidden, and maybe because in part I didn't fully understand it. Not because I had judged it or thought it made me bad, but it really made me so different for so long, especially being married to somebody who's so black and white - being a lawyer who had such a sense of right and wrong - that I didn't know. I mean, it was interesting that of course I chose somebody like him. So firmly grounded in the world, which was good for me because that kept me grounded, but that I actually had to really own who I was because he certainly wasn't going to do it for me, because he didn't normalize it. I had to do that for myself.

Rhea: That's really interesting.

Liz: And so, I needed to not only accept that that made me an outlier, that there was no way I was ever going to live with a semblance of joy in my life if I couldn't fully accept who I was, and it wasn't about conforming and non-conforming. It was really just about being able to truly accept myself and respect myself. I think that's why we talked about respect in the previous episode, because life is messy. Being in our human bodies in this world, it's messy. Dealing with emotions and the only way that we can really get through that is by having a sense of humor. In doing that even in 5D, we might still have to live with being the outlier because in 5D it still may not necessarily be the norm. It will take time.

Rhea: And that's why I guess those who do it, the more they do it, the more light they shine on the other people who want to do it too.

Liz: Yeah.

Rhea: And as we know, Love is shining your light for others to see. So doing it like that, being that ray of light is emanating Love.

Liz: Yeah. Bringing Love to the world.