Pushing to Pull

Liz: Before we are incarnated in our lifetime, if you want to believe, and let's just go down the story. Let's go down this road and explore a possible story around this. How do we encounter the people? Who are the people we encounter and why? What are the types of relationships we have? Our parents, family, relationships, love relationships, friendships. You can imagine before we come into bodies or before we are incarnated, there is one belief system where we make contracts. Our souls will contract with other souls either for karmic reasons, as in we have unfinished business. I was in a lifetime with you before and we had this experience, very positive or maybe not so positive and whatever it was, let's find some resolution. So you will be my father. You will be my mother. You will be my sibling. You will be a lover. You will be a friend in this period of my life and it will allow me to come into some form of healing.

Rhea: With that person?

Liz: Well, it's the person who helps facilitate the lesson.

Rhea: But is it like I mistreated you in my past life so in this life you'll mistreat me?

Liz: No. It's going to be we are going to find peace in this lifetime because we didn't have it in the previous lifetime. The assumption that if somebody treats us badly in this lifetime, we must've done something to them in a previous lifetime, that doesn't actually help us find peace, does it? That just furthers the pain. So ultimately what we're looking to do is to come into healing through whatever lesson that we've had to learn with that other person. I need to come into wholeness and I need to come into healing. Ultimately, that's what we're all here for, right? We are all in body at this time because we all want to be part of the larger story of fifth dimensional, Oneness Consciousness. So I want to be able to expand my consciousness as much as possible so I can come into oneness for the world, but I have to come into oneness for myself. So my soul is thinking, okay, well in order to do this, I am going to need X, Y, Z lessons. And the best souls I know who are going to get me there are going to be these. So let's see if we can all contract and we will all design a fabulous story or great relationships in order to get me there, and it will be done for you as well because it's never one-sided.

Rhea: Are contracts ever one-sided?

Liz: No. Ever.

Rhea: Can I be contracted to someone I spend one night with, as well as someone I spend my whole life with?

Liz: Mmmm, it doesn't really work that way. Yes, you can be contracted with somebody that you spend one night with, but understand that again, the lessons are rarely really about the person as much as it is about your larger healing, right?

Rhea: These relationships are how you're going to learn specific lessons . . .

Liz: Very much.

Rhea: . . . in order to bring you to wholeness. So for example, someone might come along and a relationship might highlight to you a certain core fear that you have to heal.

Liz: Yes. And when it comes to our core fears, we might have a lot of people and in order to enable our evolution, we must come into healing. If we do not come into healing, we get locked into our karmic loops, don't we? And we just circle, circle, circle. So we're just in the same dysfunctional dating relationship or pattern that we've been in, you know, the year before, the year before. We are still in same toxic kind of relationship with our parents that we had since we were children. So it is all about coming into greater healing and consciousness.

Rhea: And that's normally by pain.

Liz: In our third dimensional reality, it was always by pain. Growth always kind of came in that form of suffering to breed awareness because we were not awake. The more awake we become, the less we suffer.

Rhea: So I guess what I was saying to you is I know something's off. I figured out it's this. We'll just let it sit and it will come through. That's a huge lesson, but I didn't have to have my heart broken to learn it. I could just be aware of me and what I was doing.

Liz: Because you didn't choose to fabricate a story in order to mitigate potential disappointment or whatever.

Rhea: It was just I'm aware I'm doing this and this is not healthy.

Liz: Right. So then there are the gifts, so we've spent enough time talking about contracts, but it could be that a gift will enter our lives. Now gifts will only come in if we are on our particular growth trajectory as in we're heading towards our purpose, but we might have gotten off track. And so our gifts in certain ways can be wake up calls, but not necessarily disturbing alarm clocks. It could be just a very gentle nudge. They can come in the form of a really kind lover. Not necessarily; could be after a terrible breakup or toxic relationship, or just kind of needing the comfort of somebody during a difficult time when things became a little too upside down in life and you really don't know how to course correct, but they will enter our lives usually around that time and for no other reason but just to help give us a little bit of that redirection.

Rhea: Or they could ghost you and make you meet your shadow.

Liz: Well, either way, yeah. But that's still part of your path, right? So again, that's . . .

Rhea: It's just getting you to where you need to go.

Liz: Always.

Rhea: I guess also two way like with contracts are.

Liz: No, interestingly enough they are not.

Rhea: And that's because a contract is a lesson where we're both growing in some way, and gift sometimes it's just kind of, as you said, course correcting or putting us back on our path, or allowing us to progress on our path in a certain way.

Liz: Yes. And there are those of us, especially depending on what our karmic theme is or we're very relationship oriented, we will hold on like a motherfucker.

Rhea: So what we're really talking about here are those relationships where everything went so good and it's not anymore for whatever reason. Either they ghosted you or it's not going to work or you still hold on.

Liz: It's not progressing because a relationship is ultimately about evolution, and what happens with gifts is that you can find yourselves in the same place where you started three months later, and that's how you start to know. And it's not that it gets boring or it gets repetitive.

Rhea: You're not getting closer.

Liz: You're not. You could try, but there always seems to be a little bit of a wall. So we might just be kind of looping around that. Well, it feels really nice. There's no reason to end it. We can just sort of hang out and it's all very enjoyable until it's not.

Rhea: Because eventually our human desire is going to be to want to either get closer, to move forward, to spend more time together. If you're only meeting between the hours of one and five, even if it's the greatest relationship ever, you're going to want to see them for lunch. You're going to want to start talking about your emotions, your feelings, where are you going. You're going to want to do stuff with this person. And so then it starts kind of hitting this wall of I want to spend time with you and I want more because we always want more.

Liz: Yes, we do. We always want the good things to really last, the things that feel really good.

Rhea: And we want more of them. When you were really broken, when you felt defeated and they've managed to kind of help you pick yourself up a little bit, they become your crutch. You start thinking, I can't feel good unless this person is in my life.

Liz: Unless somebody helps me out.

Rhea: So in effect, it's almost one of those things that it's kind of like a double-edged sword because had you just picked yourself up, you wouldn't have needed the gift.

Liz: Having a gift is a bit of a privilege, but like you said, it can also hurt us if we're not aware. If we're not aware that almost every relationship we have has an expiration date because people like to ignore that. They want the good stuff to always stay and they forget that relationships that are meant to evolve - not necessarily end, but evolve -will have the ups and downs to forge growth, and with gifts you generally don't have that. Relationships will either last or they will not, and the more we know ourselves, the better we know ourselves, the better we know this relationship. I will learn something great, but I don't see this lasting beyond where that lesson is. It can still be beautiful. Recognizing the end of something doesn't bring a premature end.

Rhea: Oh, interesting.

Liz: Because I think what . . .

Rhea: I struggle with that a lot, to be honest.

Liz: You do, because your brain loves to write the fucking entire story before you've barely gotten out of the beginning.

Rhea: Yeah, and it ends up being much longer than I ever thought. I'm like, I thought this was going to last two weeks. Six months later I'm still learning something. I'm very bad at that. The minute I can sense an ending, I assume the ending is nigh.

Liz: Whereas for me I would enter a relationship generally knowing that it would end at some point, because I always knew, I don't see this one lasting but that's okay. I'm just going to ride this one out until it ends, crashes, whatever. Given my past it would often be a rather sad crash. We were generally on a crash course for some brick wall somewhere in some foreign country anyway. That was okay in some ways. That gave me the freedom just to enjoy it and I think we're forgetting that relationships, to the best of our ability, should be enjoyed.

Rhea: Yeah, I think so because I think you're right. When I think relationships end, I do expect the ending to be close so I end up looking for the ending. What I've really learned like so often, and it's a bit weird, is that really once the lesson is done, you really don't feel anything for the person. And I think a big part of the letting go of a gift is that it's almost like an undercurrent of I don't want you to not matter to me anymore.

Liz: But we're having to understand as we expand our consciousness, we realize our oneness connection to everyone.

Rhea: They will always be a part of us.

Liz: Always. They are a part of us. They have always been, whether they are truly in our lives physically or not, and that they have always mattered. But the longer we hold on to our relationships, contracted or otherwise, the longer we play into our loops. The longer we play into our karmic story, the longer we play into our fear that wants to keep us holding on. But if we are to come into Oneness Consciousness that requires that we evolve, we need to be able to learn to flow with relationship as opposed to thinking it's something that we can hold on to.

Rhea: Or control.

Liz: Or control.

Rhea: But saying that, I do believe, follow your heart though. So if you're not ready to let something go, then you're not ready to let something go. And that's okay.

Liz: That is okay. I'm a big proponent of following one's heart, but understand that there is a difference between following one's heart and following one's fears, and that requires a level of discernment.

Rhea: But then you only learn through experience.

Liz: Yes. It's not just experience though, but it's also knowing yourself because again, the better we know ourselves, the clearer we are about our paths. The clearer we are about which people in our lives can serve that path, and it's not about using them, but is everyone supporting one another in this or are they more of a distraction?

Rhea: It's not about them, but it's to ask yourself, what am I afraid of here that's allowing me to hold onto something that is clearly hurting?

Liz: That I feel I need this.

Rhea: The whole point of growth and evolution is to be able to recognize your fears and overcome them and free yourself from them. So if you're too scared to let go of someone, that's holding onto a fear. The longer and the harder we hold on, the more obsessive it becomes as well, because it's like it's been this long. I have to make it work now and it also becomes a habit thinking about that person all the time becomes a total habit.

Liz: And so we make our purpose that other person or that relationship or connection when ultimately connection is meant to be so much more harmonious and natural than it has become of late, because we're forcing it all the time. We are pushing ourselves because we crave connection as human beings but to the point where we're allowing any kind of connection to define us, even if it's detrimental to our souls.

Rhea: There's a security in connection that we're missing, and I think that's kind of the compassionate bit that I would put in is that if you are really in a place where you really need a gift, you've probably been through a lot of hell. So I really feel for those people who don't want to let go of the good times. They started to believe something different, even for a bit, even though underneath it all, they never believed it would last anyway, and so they just don't want another fear being realized. So I do understand how it can become an obsession, how it can become a preoccupation because it's like this feeling like this was my only chance. But the thing is that it's that very belief that's keeping you locked, because if you believe it was your only chance, then you're not understanding the true nature of relationships, which is they're only meant to be a reflection of your growth and teach you something important. So the more you divest yourself of your fears, the more likely you are to have the relationships that actually you desire.

Liz: Yes, that aren't so one-sided. Because what we forget too though, is that when it's feeling so great like that, as much as a gift can be, again, it is really one-sided. But for those who found it easy to let go, like I did, I got to a point where I thought, I need more than this. This could be really easy. I feel very worshiped. This is all great for me, but then again, I'm somebody who likes to challenge myself. There are those who just think, well, am I being really selfish? My friends are all telling me I've got this great person in my life. How can I let this person go? Because you sense that there was something else, and it's not necessarily selfish or greedy to think, I don't see this person as a part of my future, because often what happens is we're trying to bend over backwards to make sure that person fits the story when they often don't.

Rhea: I would say that the antidote to all of that is to really say, if my life is about becoming more joyful, becoming happier, experiencing more love, expanding my potential in ways that I never saw possible, then all the things that are happening to me now are happening to me to free myself of the fears that will hold me back from doing so. That's it. So I have to trust that this has a reason. I have to be open to learning what that reason is, and knowing that lesson will free me of the obsession or preoccupation because I will know in my heart that it's finished. But I actually have to let it finish in order to do so and sometimes it's about letting it be. Sit in the feelings. It's not that this was my only chance. It becomes, this was just a stepping stone.

Liz: Very much, and understand that as we evolve into fifth dimensional Oneness Consciousness, that is how many of our relationships will function. Not necessarily that we will have more gifts. The goal is ultimately to not need them, but that as we come into greater partnership with ourselves and therefore our purpose, all of our relationships will ultimately be about supporting one another because we feel supported. The more focus we give to ourselves and our purpose, the more in line our relationships will be that we won't need these course corrections.

Rhea: The more you're able to connect to your heart, the less you're likely to get stuck doing something that goes against it, so you won't need someone else to put you back on track because you'll be able to do it for yourself. Which is all we ever want really, because we want our relationships to be sources of joy and fun, and we want to experience them in a way that we learn positively and we can't do that when we're seeing the other person as the solution to our problems.