Practical Lesson
Sexual Barometer.
How we relate to sex can tell us a lot about how we relate to ourselves. The more honest and intimate a relationship we can have with ourselves, the better our relationship to sex.
So whilst it is important to be able to own our body and have sex the way in which we desire, it is always worth asking yourself whether your desire from sex comes from a place of fear or empowerment. We may be using sex as a coping mechanism in order to hide from our fear. For example, if someone else chooses us we feel wanted, or when we use sex to escape from our reality.
If you are unsure about our motivations, it can be helpful to ask the following questions:
Am I scared to be rejected by my partner if I do not have sex with them?
Am I scared to be rejected by society if I have sex the way in which I want to?
Am I using sex as a way to know that I am attractive?
Am I using sex as a means to escape?
Am I connected to my body during the act itself or do I dissociate in some way?
Am I having sex in this way because I want to? Or because I believe it is how I should be?
Sexual Maturity.
Whilst in some ways it is as simple as having sex when and how you feel like it, if you answered “yes” to any of the questions above it is worth examining the root of those issues rather than continuing to perpetuate the behaviour itself. Because answering “yes” brings us back to the unresolved parts of our karmic issue.
It takes time to realize who we are as sexual beings and to understand how it fits within our identity. There may be ups and downs, there may be disappointments, and there may be unmet expectations. However, the more honest you can be with yourself and with your partner, the sooner you can begin to really own your sexuality. Owning our sexuality is precisely that point of power that allows sex to be really great.