Live Like You Were Dying

Rhea: At the moment it feels like death is everywhere.

Liz: Yeah.

Rhea: Not in a necessarily personal, physical way as well, but we've seen death of institutions, death of ways of life, death of habits, deaths of relationships.

Liz: A lot of those, huh?

Rhea: Yeah. There's been death everywhere and it feels like even without it being in our faces, we always live with the preoccupation of death.

Liz: So much of our fear around death and endings often drives our behaviors and serves as a motivation for so many things. Well, I'm going to die one day. I should do this.

Rhea: Death really enforces separation.

Liz: It does.

Rhea: So whether it was well, there's a right and wrong, black and white, there's a life and death. So that death enforces all the other polarity. At the same time, there's such a fear around what happens when we die. It's that fear of uncertainty that we kind of echo in reality. So I believe that a lot of the fears that we're living out in our lives are actually just mirrors to our fear of death in some way or another. What we discussed in Season 1 was that once you are able to make your peace with death in some way, you're able to fully live in harmony and in flow because death is at the core of so many of our fears. You know, one of the only things we can truly be certain of in this life is that one day we will die. We don't know when; we don't know how, but we know it will eventually happen.

Liz: So many of our choices are predicated upon or defined by how we view death, because I'm willing to risk my life for this. It's almost like a measurement of how much we want something has its own relationship to death.

Rhea: I really want to experience this. I could die along the way, but it's worth it.

Liz: Yeah. Or I could catch this disease in the process, but that's how badly I really want it. 2020 was very much about getting us to confront all of Separation. And like you said, our relationship to death underpins our relationship to Separation, which is why it was so pivotal for us to confront death. 2020, we had to face it. We were forced to face it and it became very polarizing then too.

Rhea: As universal as death is, just like everything else, it lives in our perception?

Liz: Yeah, it really does. And that is the crux of this episode is our perception of death.

Rhea: But my question to you I guess is you said before that death is just a secret as birth.

Liz: Very much, yeah.

Rhea: And I want to know why.

Liz: Because our choice to incarnate, just as it is our choice to end lives or for when our lives end, is very important. It is something to be honored because for a soul to come into body is a very big deal. It requires a lot of support. It's a lot of work, if you will. I think the best analogy I can form for people that would be the simplest, it's team building. It's like when you start a new job. I was like, Oh, is it a bit like when you first go to school, like your kindergarten and that first day, and it's a really big deal. It's actually not. It's like really when you first join a big company and there's already people who were there, but there are people who are going to show you your way and who are going to hold your hand, who are going to mentor you and lead you through, and it's advancing a bit like that and it takes a lot to get that set up going. And so it is quite an effort to come into body and to become conscious and to grow within that. And when we die, it takes just as much work to dismantle everything, to acknowledge because when we pass over, there's this belief that you have a little bit of that life review. Did I hit the marks in this area? Where's my evolution? Is my karma taken care of in this area? Okay, cool, because we want to round things out nicely, and then we just move forward. But it's all done with great consciousness. And when we are in our fullest consciousness, there's something really impressive about that. And our choice to move on, to cease our lives, our human lives is a massive decision.

Rhea: And who makes that choice?

Liz: Often we do.

Rhea: We as in our higher selves?

Liz: Yes.

Rhea: But is that for some people it's kind of laid out? So, if today I could say to you, Liz, when am I going to die? You could give me a date.

Liz: I would never do that to anyone.

Rhea: I know. I'm just asking though. Technically.

Liz: Yes. Yes. There are people who can know that. Death is a future concept. It always is, no matter what. Even if it's today, it's still a future cause I'm here breathing, talking to you. And so I don't see the point.

Rhea: Well, I think anything about the future is so unknown. The more we fixate on the future of the unknown, the more it keeps us out of the present and the more it keeps us in fear and out of flow. But it's funny what you said about breathing, because really death, as we know it, it's what? It's the cessation of breath and you talk about breathing as our life force. So when we stop breathing, that's what death is, right?

Liz: Exactly. It is. So emotionally when we say that something is the death of us, it's because that something had caused an overwhelm to make our heart stop. And we're at a point now in our evolution, in our consciousness, and I'm going to keep saying this. This is why we're referring to every episode cause it's like 2020 that we have to have...

Rhea: It's 2021.

Liz: No, I'm saying, but because we've lived through 2020, that death finally has to enter our consciousness in a new way for us to move forward in our evolution. The experience and the grief of it coming especially because nobody really expects it, we often have a certain denial comfort zone that we tend to exist in, especially around death, that when it comes, we're too stunned to really be able to process it. It comes as such a shock. That shock itself is something we have to recover from before we can even enter into the grief. And I know it's part of the grieving process, but some of us remain in that shock for a long time.

Rhea: With the one person who passed away that I really cared about, I was in denial for a year. The shock came and I lived in the shock, and it was only about a year later when something else happened that forced me to confront it and forced me to confront a whole buttload of issues that came with it. But I have always known that with myself and when it came to death, I would live in the shock, compartmentalize the death and move on and almost not want to deal with the uncomfortable feelings that came with it so I wouldn't ... I can't even talk about this, but I didn't want to feel any of the uncomfortable emotions associated with losing someone, associated with an ending, associated with, to be honest, feeling powerless as well. So I just...

Liz: Yeah, because death really points right to our powerlessness, doesn't it?

Rhea: Totally, I mean, you saying we choose how to die and when to die, to me it feels quite ... it's at odds with what I see death is, which is total powerlessness. You can't keep yourself alive. If I can just pretend it's hasn't happened, I can still live like it didn't and I don't have to feel what happened to me as a result, if that makes sense. And I notice I do that a lot. I don't necessarily just do it with death. My capacity for denial used to be very strong, but what I've noticed and what I've learned is that the more we put something off, the more we act from that space. So when it comes time to deal with it, it's so much bigger.

Liz: Very much. Yeah.

Rhea: But at the same time, the compassion piece is that maybe we weren't ready to deal with it when it happened and maybe dealing with it later was the only way in which we could deal with it at all. What I've learnt, there's no right way to deal with this. When it comes to death, losing a loved one, losing a relationship, losing anything, how you process it is how you process it and you don't need to explain that to anyone else and everyone will have different reactions. From the person who needs to talk all the time, from the person who wants to be alone, from the person who wants to forget about it, to the person who wants to go over and over and over in their heads. The gift I gave myself very early on in this was the permission to be exactly how I needed to be, whatever that was, and really not judge myself for it because I think sometimes it holds us back because I don't want to laugh cause if I laugh, it means I don't care. I don't want to cry because if I cry, it means I've lost something. I feel like we spend so much of our time judging our own reactions to death, we don't actually let ourselves process it the way in which sometimes it just needs to be processed. Sorry. I really went on a tangent there, but I think it's true.

Liz: No, no, no. I think it's true, but we're also moving into a new consciousness around that, so that's not really something that is entirely valid, given all of our experiences. What 2020 was forcing us to confront was exactly that. We've lived in denial for too long around what death means to us because when we're so busy blocking the emotions, when we're busy blocking the grief, when we're taking years to process the big stuff, you can certainly have. Mourning takes time of course, but when we remain in that state of unacceptance, effectively what we're doing to ourselves is we're remaining in separation and so our evolution gets stunted. And so of course much like when we have the truth presented or this new idea presented, it's going to take us years to really get to where we're really going to land around this. So here we are talking about this, it's the cessation of breath, but it is not the death of who we are entirely because our souls are continuous so our souls continue on and on and on. So, all death really is is a transition from our human existence back into our soul existence. But we can't really come into that knowing if we remain attached to all the old stories and associations with death, which is why we were talking about religion and everything in the earlier episodes of the season.

Rhea: Is this what we were working towards?

Liz: Slowly, yeah. I mean, we're working towards unpicking everything that... Religion underpins all of this, right? Well, our fears really do so our capacity to embrace life is not really because life is the foil to death. It's because life is our purpose. We're here for our purpose, which means we don't leave until our purpose is fulfilled. Because so often we're fed the message that you've been given life, that life is a gift and therefore you should cherish it. You should take care of it. Don't hurt yourself purposely.

Rhea: You should protect it.

Liz: Protect it.

Rhea: Survival is the key because that's how you give back the gift.

Liz: Exactly, or doing something with your life. That's why we keep coming back in previous episodes to you've chosen everything. Everything...

Rhea: You've chosen to live.

Liz: Exactly. You've chosen to incarnate, and when you can really grasp that, then everything else is within your grasp.

Rhea: Well, it's not even necessarily. If you can't grasp you've chosen to incarnate, you can grasp you've chosen to still wake up every morning. Every day you take a breath, every breath you've chosen to take it because there is another choice. But the thing about death, and we can talk about this till we're blue in the face. But the thing about death that I think scares us all, the thing that underpins death is grief because there's two sides of the grief coin, as it were, around death. There's the one side of I'm grieving my own life - the things I didn't end up doing, the things I wanted to do, all the missed opportunities. We carry that with us in our lives to the grief of what happens to us when we lose someone or at any ending. That grief that comes with it is torture in many ways.

Liz: So, we've existed within a very limited spectrum of emotions. I'm happy. I'm sad. We've experienced highs. We have lows, but our highs have never been that high because our lows have never really been that low.

Rhea: Really? I feel our lows have been quite low.

Liz: Well, if we have, there are lows. My point is that within our human experiences, our emotional spectrum is just generally quite narrow. But I think that what grief really does to us, it really knocks us. That is where we hit double sadness, triple sadness, like the exponential

Rhea: That's the low low you were just discussing.

Liz: Yeah. And because we're not used to the spectrum of emotions because we tend to move within this kind of ... like we were ping-ponging generally within an inch of each other emotionally, grief takes us miles from what we really know and it's painful. It's very painful and we're not used to it because it is soul wrenching to feel that sense of loss to have something torn away from us that is so precious. And we have lifetimes after lifetimes. Again, why we had to record episode one. Our human existence is so tied in to death and grief because it's all we've known for all the lifetimes that we've ever had. And so our human memory tells us death is awful. It is horrible. It is not ever to be repeated, and yet we do it lifetime after lifetime. It still happens. We do it to others. God know how many times we've killed others, how many wars we've seen and witnessed, that we've participated in or witnessed. And that is why we fear grief because it tears us inside out. And it is very much part of our human existence and our experiences and our stories. But if we are to come into a more evolved consciousness and if we are to really begin, just to begin to grasp our true power and our co-creative abilities - I don't want to say our godlike powers - but our ability to create, we need to grasp the fact that death is really, truly part of it, and what holds us back is our fear around grief.

Rhea: I'm so scared of grief. That's why I hate endings. We talk about endings all the time. I hate grief.

Liz: It is the story of our divine separation, just being played out over and over and over again.

Rhea: What is divine separation? Is it coming into body?

Liz: Not just coming into body, but effectively when we came into separating ourselves from God, when we entered 3D. At some point we never existed in Separation. We came from that Point of Essence, that place of wholeness, and when we enter separation into 3D consciousness, we literally have to tear ourselves away from wholeness

Rhea: Which doesn't necessarily happen the minute you're born. It happens as you start growing up and start seeing that you're living in Separation.

Liz: Yeah.

Rhea: I mean, you start learning that there are parts of you that are wrong, parts of you that are right. There's pain, there's suffering, all that sort of stuff.

Liz: Yes, Separation consciousness. When that develops, that is really painful.

Rhea: So basically, grief is the reminder how powerless and unhappy we are in this life.

Liz: I am not whole.

Rhea: But at the same time whilst I'm so like poo-pooing about religion and stuff, it's all created stories around death to have context for grief.

Liz: Oh my gosh!

Rhea: I'm sad this person is gone, but I'll find peace knowing they're in heaven or the afterlife, or I'm sad this has happened but it was for the best because of this or that. Even this whole episode, when I've been talking to you about it, even from a personal experience, we see let's turn death into a gift so we can make a story about it so we can deal with it so we don't have to grieve.

Liz: We spend a lot of time trying to talk ourselves out of grief that we just prolong the grieving process, but we throw ourselves into it without even meaning to. When we grasp our divine power, when we grasp that we are far more powerful and conscious than we know ourselves to be in this given minute of this episode, when we are really in our evolution, we can understand that death really is just part of this process. And that ability to accept that is what moves us out of the need to grieve. Human inability to accept death keeps us in 3D. Our ability to accept death is what moves us forward in our evolution and will bring us into 5D faster. Because what happens is that as our fear of death keeps us looping throughout 3D because we can't fully process what it means to us. And so, if you want to talk about polarity for a second, the foil to grief is acceptance. Because if we can actually accept that something happened, it already moves us out of the grieving process. We can still remain in mourning. You can still miss the person, but even missing the person won't feel as significant, because if we can really understand that their soul is still there and that we can somehow unite with that soul if we wish, then really what is the difference?

Rhea: What do you mean, "unite with that soul if we wish"?

Liz: Communicate with them if we need.

Rhea: How? But I thought in the Medium episode we discussed how that wasn't ...

Liz: I said, "if we need". It's still useful, but it's just not a game. It's just not a toy. It's not the thing we live for.

Rhea: So what do you say to those people who have lost someone so important to them...

Liz: I know. God, I hate that.

Rhea: Whether it is from death or just an ending. It could be a divorce, death of a marriage. Yeah. It could be anything.

Liz: Oh God. Death of a job. How many people lost their jobs this past year? It's really so unfortunate. It's just death is everywhere. But again, if we remain in the story of how it could have been, how it should have been, it keeps us from allowing it to actually really happen and accepting it. This is all about, we need to come to accept our realities in order to create a new reality. There is one thing that we need to say though, in this episode, but we've pretty much have all the information I think is that there are times when somebody passes before their time. And that is really important to acknowledge, because while we said that if a person's gone, then that was their time, that's not always true.

Rhea: Why then does that happen?

Liz: That happens because - and it's not a situation of wrong place, wrong time. It happens because first of all, even if they weren't set or contracted to die on that particular day, it was probably around their time. It's also that they could have been part of a soul group and that soul group was going to pass collectively. It could also be that they were holding a particular karmic piece for a group and that group could have been a family, so like a family line or something and in order to heal that karma, they need to do it through death. It could be that their path was on one particular trajectory, but in order to fulfill their karmic purpose meant their passing. So it was almost like, no, but that person had a lot to live for. They were going to do this, this, this, but then they went and it was like, Oh, there are other reasons a person might pass. And if a person does pass before their given time, it's in all likelihood their souls will have incarnated fairly quickly to come in and do what it is that they were set to do. They just weren't going to be able to do it in the bodies that they had.

Rhea: But really a lot of this episode and a lot of the kind of stuff that you've been talking about really hinges on us believing in past lives and believing in something bigger. And whilst it's not necessarily religion creating the stories, it is some kind of spirituality creating a story.

Liz: That's true. That's true so let's see if we can take another. Do you want to see if we can take one more lens to this to make it a little less storied?

Rhea: Yes, a little more realistic lens.

Liz: It still can be realistic, Rhea. You just want something a little bit more grounded on our ... you know, because the human filter is too narrow. So yes, almost everything we're going to say is going to seem really out there, if we're going to apply the human lens, then it's like two centimeters wide. But that's why we had religion for so long.

Rhea: The problem with the religion is it was also a mirror to our 3D separation, which meant that there was also good and bad, and pain and suffering and trying to prove that you were worth a life, but no fear what's coming. The problem with religion is it made our current lives miserable.

Liz: Yes, although its efforts to assuage our misery was, I think well-intended. There is no other lens Rhea for this particular example. I mean, actually what we're giving is barely much bigger than what religion has offered. It is just a somewhat broader viewpoint because no, you don't necessarily have to believe in past lifetimes. Fine. You pass. You pass and that's it. You go into some great beyond, and that is all.

Rhea: But ultimately, you're not sad any more. You're not in pain any more. You're not in Separation any more.

Liz: Well, if you're not in body, you're not because a soul is ...

Rhea: Whatever you believe in on the other side, you're not in Separation and Separation hurts us all. It hurts us all. There is not one person who is not hurt by Separation. So either we accept that and choose to end Separation

Liz: Which we can deal in

Rhea: Or face the grief of that death as well.

Liz: Exactly.

Rhea: And I think that's why you said earlier, grief and death is the thing that stops us from moving into 5D. I think one of the things that we're really struggling to grieve, and that's definitely something, and we've mentioned this a couple of times in these episodes is that to leave 3D.

Liz: Yes. Cause we've never seen.

Rhea: It's an ending.

Liz: It is an ending.

Rhea: Just like anything else.

Liz: It is the biggest fucking ending in this lifetime, more than even our own physical deaths will be. And we can finally have an ending in body. We don't need for our lives to end physically like our physical human existence to end in order to end our suffering. We have the capacity and the consciousness to be able to do it in this lifetime. And that's a big fucking deal.

Rhea: Yeah. And at the end of the day, if we're able to understand that and do that and see that there is life after death, then maybe we can believe in another life after another death.