Constant Craving

Rhea: As much as this period has been tumultuous, there was a lot of emotions, there was a lot of processing, there was a lot of change

Liz:  And a lot of uncertainty on the other end of all that change.

Rhea: Yeah, exactly. I kind of had grounded myself in my routines and my plans, in myself in a way that allowed me to weather it. But I just kind of have this feeling now that things are changing and they're out of my control. I think for me, my history has always been when things have changed, they've always felt like they've changed ultimately for the better, but through the worst. It will be hard before it gets better. And that's how I've always associated change and it makes me feel lost. And it's funny cause I found today I've been angrier than usual. I've been more sensitive than usual and I've really felt like I'm grieving.

Liz:  Oh wow! You really are feeling the end of something, and endings are not your thing. They're not most people's thing. The thing that we want to avoid the most, because we don't like death. We don't like change, but I feel like 2020 for better or worse, was a wonderful introduction to endings and beginnings.

Rhea: I think about 2020, every time we thought that was an ending, there was, but there wasn't.

Liz:  Would you call it a transition?

Rhea: Everything I had was still there, but it somehow got better. So, I think sometimes the grief is almost just, I know this and I know my story in this and I know that a big part of what we're teaching, I think in Season 4 is after the karmic story's gone or after the karmic story has been transcended enough that you can start creating your life. How does one do that? What do you do when you get what you want?

Liz:  That's a very good question.

Rhea: And what do you do when you get what you want and you're happy, but you're scared you're going to lose it?

Liz:  That it won't last.

Rhea: That it won't last

Liz:  Because you're right. I mean, there is something to be said about once we've moved through our story enough, and seeing it for what it is and held it and healed most of it at least, what comes next? But how do we get there when we're in that stage of feeling lost and grieve-y, because it was giving us the opportunity to begin the process of imagining life post-3D, life post-Separation. It was an interlude to bring us to something else. Some of us were carried. Some of us had to crawl there, drag ourselves to the finish, and then the sadness kicks in because the life as I knew it is over. Can't go back. That seems so far away. I can't get there. So then what? And that gets really scary. Like you said, all of a sudden, all the familiar things, even if they were hard, once those go, then you really begin to feel lost and the fear can kick in.

So when we are really in the throes of our grief and stuff and feeling a bit lost is when we start to forget who we are. When we find ourselves in that space of complete disempowerment. Wait, I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know how I'm going to take care of myself. I don't know how I'm going to live my life. And so we start to question, what's this all about? We forget that we've developed - for the most part - many of us have developed somewhat comfortable lives. Everybody can have more money. Yes, everyone can have a bigger place. They can have X, Y, Z things. But for the most part, there are many who had very comfortable lives, had enough, and so this was also a wake-up call too. But wait, all these comforts ... they're not saving me, are they? So, our lives were so much more perfectly imperfect than we realized them to be. And so all of that was just right there in our faces to hold and see, realizing our priorities could shift, that happiness was truly possible that so many things weren't necessary anymore. So, we were able to shed some old stuff, shed our skins, if you will.

Rhea: A little bit. Yeah. But I think for me, what I noticed was that having spent so much time living in that kind of 3D space and believing that you can't have light without dark, that the shoe always has to fall.

Liz:  Yes. For you, yes because that was a big thing for you.

Rhea: Huge.

Liz:  Can't have it all.

Rhea: You can't have it all. You cannot have it all. You cannot have it all.

Liz:  My happiness will come at a price. I'm going to pay for this later.

Rhea: Yes, exactly. And so I think that's what I struggled and I still struggle with sometimes. Everything that was good, I could never enjoy it in a way for very long without thinking it's going to leave again.

Liz:  And all the uncertainties of 2020 left us looping through that fear of when is that shoe going to fall? Oh my gosh, it's going to come. It was in the media. It was enough to always see a second wave was going to come. This is going to happen. You're never safe. But 5D Oneness tells us that we can have it all, and it's a really scary thing to consider because we don't trust that. And that the only way to have it all was to make sure that all of our Shit has been dealt with, that there is always light. That what we took for the dark, if you will, what we took for all the negative things that were happening in 3D, which were almost givens. Again, it was like, you can't have good without the bad. You can't have virtue without vice. It was always one or the other. Somewhere along that polarity spectrum, the reality is that the dark or the negative stuff was really just our pain perception.

Rhea: As in, it was mirroring to us the places where we needed to heal?

Liz:  Exactly. Exactly.

Rhea: So once you heal that, there's no more dark?

Liz:  Correct. That where you can then grow and evolve through various personal challenges that won't crush you or feel as crushing as your karmic story.

Rhea: So they'll just feel like ... and you can grow through joy then as well.

Liz:  Yes, you can grow through joy. You grow through joy. You can grow through just a variety of challenges. You will not be challenge-free. We are humans having this very interesting, crazy experience. So yes, there might be things that we might encounter if we made a decision and we're like, Oh, ouch! That doesn't feel so great. But again, as we talked about in a previous episode, you can have the happiness AND. You can get to that point of sort of contentment and bliss, and that becomes your baseline. And you can sort of dip down a bit below that, but you come back up because your vibration is not used to going down.

Rhea: I see.

Liz:  And that's not a normal, and so you can't stay there.

Rhea: So really once you get to that place, endings aren't endings. They're just beginnings.

Liz:  It's just a continuation.

Rhea: There's no such thing as an ending anymore.

Liz:  Not in the way that we know them or experienced them before. And so it's not about being preoccupied with what's next. It's just about allowing everything to come together.

Rhea: But by then, you know what it is. It's because I have a lack of hope.

Liz:  It's understandable. Who wants to hope when you have no idea what you're hoping for? When all that seems to be in front of you is nothing.

Rhea: Yeah. And when we talk about our deepest desires, I feel I spend so long unpicking my deepest desires and finding out they were all just constructs of what I thought my deepest desires should be.

Liz:  Right. Or results of FOMO.

Rhea: Yeah, exactly. I have a very strange relationship with hope. 

Liz:  Same

Rhea: It's funny because I have such a great relationship with trust, which honestly is a shocker for all. My knowing is good. My faith is interesting, but I don't necessarily have hope. I have trust in the space of hope. So for me, when things happen or when I feel like an ending approaching or a shift is becoming, hope isn't necessarily where I go, because hope in the past for a lot of us - and I don't think I'm the only one saying this - is a big association with disappointment. I prefer to be hopeless than to be disappointed. And so, when hope would normally for someone step in and carry them that little bit through that transition period, for me, I block it because for me, when hope comes, I assume disappointment comes too.

Liz:  Yeah. Instead of hope, I go with faith.

Rhea: I go with trust.

Liz:  So when we talk about the different degrees with the pillars of trust, so you have Trust, Faith, Hope and Knowing, if my knowing isn't.... I mean, I really vacillate not a lot. I can pretty much carry, but hope has always been one for me that since I was really young kind of eluded me.

Rhea: Why did it elude us both? Why?

Liz:  Oh, because I used to wish a lot and hope and believe in certain things, and when they didn't come true, I thought, then it's just best that I not hope or expect anything.

Rhea: Yeah, me too. Why did that happen to us?

Liz:  I think it's a really good question. And I think it happens to a lot of people where the world and expectations just go unmet. We've been swimming in that sea of unmet expectations for several years ... well, for about, since about 2016, when 3D just kind of blew up and all those kite strings and everything was just like, really, it just went haywire. We were like, Oh, wow. What am I going to make of it? But I've been sort of more or less "hopeless" I think since I was a young person and I was really relying on trust, faith and knowing to get me through and it's okay. I really feel, and this is a personal thing for me. I would rather, at least my other bits of trust be really strong than constantly hold onto hope where I didn't even understand what direction my hope would have taken me.

Rhea: Funny enough. The only thing I'm scared of is hope in a lot of ways, but ...

Liz:  Boy, we really need to get our listeners to hope by the end of this.

Rhea: I know, we are going to change that.

Liz:  No, no, no, no, no, no. It's okay. I think it's important cause I think we need to echo people's concerns.

Rhea: It's definitely one of those things where I associate hope with a genie in a bottle. Something that isn't in my power, I'm not in my power when I hope.

Liz:  It's wishful thinking.

Rhea: Yes, in some ways it's useful because it does reflect our deepest desires. So I'm like, what do I really want to have? If I could hope, what would I hope happens here? Then I know what I want. Great. But that's as far as it goes and sometimes knowing what you want and especially because knowing what you want, normally it doesn't get delivered to you exactly as you imagined it anyway.

Liz:  Ever, which is one of the reasons why I think I had given up on hope because it never came the way I thought. And boy, especially when you're little, you really don't feel in control or in power.

Rhea: But I don't feel in control and in power. I feel empowered in myself, and I feel no control at all. Knowing all of this, knowing my feelings on hope. Let's see. Can you get me to hope again?

Liz:  Can I get myself to hope again? Of all the four pillars of trust - hope was the one I think we discussed the least, probably because we didn't know a damn thing, but we defined hope as that which reflects our deepest desires. Okay. Now here we are, late 2020. The global landscape is changing, shifting. Our consciousness has risen. We are definitely feeling like many of us, especially anyone listening to this podcast is feeling like a different person. So as our consciousness changes, we can expand our definitions. So, hope itself is the co-creative knowing that we are here for more than what we are seeing, experiencing, and feeling at this very moment. Sit with that one for a second, Rhea. The reason why we're very low in our hope scale is because we haven't had to exercise it yet. Hope is co-creative because we have to literally create the hope. Hope prior to 2020, wasn't truly possible because it would have been based in something or someone else, either in an ideology, a particular leader, a practice. In 2020 and beyond, hope can only be born from our personal power.

Rhea: So, it's I know how powerful I am. I am empowered. Therefore, I know I can create this world for myself and hope is when you're waiting for it to start.

Liz:  It's not that you're waiting for it to start. You believe ...

Rhea: That it will start.

Liz:  Yes. Our best will only get better. And we will really see that funny enough- and I've never mentioned this particular year - 2025. And the reason it's not 2024, which is the year we are always talking about getting to is because we really will not see this completely solidified and played out for ourselves personally until 2025 so we have time to work on our hope, Rhea.

Rhea: Okay, we don't need to be hopeful now.

Liz:  No. No one is necessarily going to get to December 31st, 2020 full of hope. They might be working towards it. They might have been able to sort of line up their ducks or realized certain goals and ambitions and healed so much, that the latter part of 2020 for them was really about actualizing all of it, where then they could see, Oh, I understand that there's so much possible and I'm here for it.

Rhea: So hope is basically the long game?

Liz:  It is very much the long game. We needed hope in 3D in ...

Rhea: We didn't use hope in 3D.

Liz:  We did. We did, but we channeled it into if this comes it'll tell me I'm special. If my wishes are granted, it's because I know I'm lovable and worthy and deserving or perfect, and somebody is going to bestow something.

Rhea: Whereas I guess in the future, it's more, I am all those things so if this comes, it's because it's part of my purpose.

Liz:  Precisely. It's a way different thing than feeling like because in 3D, it was something that could only come really when we were not in our power, when somebody was doing it for us. And it's so hard because I think so many of us were sold that the new age, everyone was going to be riding this high. We were all just going to be in love all the time and just feeling in flow. We didn't realize, and I truly believe that if we had known how challenging it would have been, many of us would have not bothered to incarnate for it.

Rhea: Seriously.

Liz:  Seriously. I have had enough clients who just said, excuse me, I really signed up for this? And I was like, yeah, you kind of did. And I get it cause please! How quickly we forget how challenging it is to raise our consciousness. But how quickly we forget that it is truly possible to raise our consciousness, that it doesn't have to be as hard as our karmic story and our 3D existence taught us it would be. We truly believed it, but it didn't have to be that way forever.

Rhea: And how do we then believe that it can be somehow different? That's my question.

Liz:  Yeah. We have to keep following the light and heal. Heal whatever dark places still reside inside.

Liz:  How do you stop believing that things are going to fall from underneath you?

Liz:  Because understand that that belief was born from your pain, first of all.

Rhea: Okay.

Liz:  And so that it is very possible for that belief to transform when you've healed your pain. We often make the mistake of telling ourselves, and we said this in Season 1 too, you cannot will yourself, to think yourself into a different reality. It takes understanding your karmic story first.

Rhea: Okay.

Liz:  And then it requires seeing that karmic story and holding yourself in a shit ton of compassion in order to begin to approach the healing around it.

Rhea: And once you've done all of that?

Liz:  Then it becomes possible because that's when you can see that the dark really was your pain being reflected back to you. It was not outside of you.

Rhea: Yeah. I see.

Liz: Because we are both. Well, we're not truly both, but we carried that in our human experience for a long time.

Rhea: So then why do I then slip back into waiting for the other shoe to fall?

Liz:  Because like you said earlier in the episode, it's familiar. Nobody - and I feel like we say this a lot - we said this before. Nobody knows or remembers really what 5D will look like because we've never experienced it before.

Rhea: At the end of the day, I can't right now teach anyone the way in which to start hoping. However, what I can do is I can say the more you walk through your crap, the more you see that it was just a creation from yourself. Oh, interesting. The more you see that it was just your co-creation with the universe to transcend your pain and the more you then transcend it, the more you can start believing that you can co-create something different with a universe as well. And so, I can't say that here is the way in which to create hope. I can't say this is what hope feels like. I can't say this is what hope gives you. I can't really engage with hope that much from a kind of experiential level, but I can say that hope feels to me, it's the part that helps you transcend the scars of leaving your karmic story behind. And I think you're only ready for that once you've divested yourself of a certain amount of your karma, but also when you can see and truly believe that you co-created the story to find your power and once in it, you can co-create whatever you want.

Liz:  Yes. And to me hope is about acknowledging the many possibilities that come

Rhea: And that they can all be good.

Liz:  Yes. Once our karmic story is finished, hope can begin.