Building a Mystery

Liz: In the previous episode, we were talking about the four pillars of trust.

Rhea: Trust, hope, faith, and knowing.

Liz: We talked about faith, the other F-word.

Rhea: Yes.

Liz: And when we were recording it, you were definitely feeling really down on faith. Like, I don't think I have any.

Rhea: I'm still unsure about my faith. As I said, I don't know if I have faith in something bigger than myself. Do I have faith in myself? It's growing every day. I find the more I choose myself and listen to it, the more I have faith in it. It's just like a muscle that just keeps getting stronger the more I use it.

Liz: Precisely. And that's what faith is ideally. Faith in ourselves.

Rhea: I mean, some might say it was atrophied before I started using it.

Liz: I think often it is, because if you're not really using it or if you've been on autopilot with it, I believe this, but I don't really know why is that even meaningful.

Rhea: No, and I think that's the thing is that when we were talking about faith, there are two ways of seeing it. And I understand that in order for you to even think about having faith in something bigger, you first have to have faith in yourself because otherwise all you're doing is giving away your power again to something else. I think that's kind of where I'm at right now. I choose to have faith in myself over having faith in other things, because I feel that having faith in something else at the moment feels like too much of giving away my own power. And I think until I'm fully entrenched in my own power, then I will probably feel this way.

Liz: No, it makes sense because otherwise you're a bit lost.

Rhea: You are still looking for . . . and we've had this conversation. We've never actually put it in the podcast, but it is something to kind of acknowledge is that obviously my work wife has a direct line to the universe in many ways, so it's very easy for me. And I have done it many times in the past where in order to even make a small decision, I've asked you. Instead of making the decision on my own, I've been able to kind of outsource it to a higher power as it were in many ways. In my weaker moments, I will surrender all of my power to someone who's going to give me the answers of the future, because it's much easier than having to roll with the punches. You know, we're talking about kind of tarot and astrology and all these other ways of . . . and they are great tools. I can't disparage that at all. However, obviously really what people are asking is what is going to happen to me? Am I making the right choices?

Liz: Tell me what to do.

Rhea: Exactly. And I think that as scary as it is to live in an unknown, uncertain future, and to be kind of firmly only embedded in the now, this is the easiest way to do that. It's actually quite disempowering in many ways. And I'd say it's just as, if not more dangerous than following someone who tells you to smile more or to be more grateful and that will be how you change your life. It's just as dangerous to ask someone, what day am I going to meet the love of my life and how much money will he make? And so, I really do understand that unless you are in your full power, then there is no point asking someone else anything, because all you're going to be doing is it will be echoing in the back of your head. For example, so a stupid example. We'll talk about my Dave. He's the easiest example. I remember in one of our sessions after everything happened, I remember speaking to you and it was actually in a proper formal session. We hadn't started doing the podcast yet or anything. I don't know if it was even an idea at that time yet. I came to you a hot mess, and I remember in the session it was, “Delete his number now”. And for some reason I didn't do it

Liz: ‘Cause you're stubborn. Don't even tell me for some reason.

Rhea: I'm a stubborn shit so I didn't do it.

Liz: That was the whole dichotomy when it came to you was you were always asking for advice or to be told what to do or just something. You wanted an answer. A good portion of the time you would go and do the opposite. It's like you wanted one answer so then you could figure out the other answer, like actually what you wanted to do.

Rhea: Which to be honest, I think, is one of the few reasons why it can be useful.

Liz: Well for you, yes, especially. Yes.

Rhea: But I do think like what happened as a result of me not deleting his number was amazing in many ways, but there was still that little voice in my head every time we interacted. Oh, but the Guides told me I should delete his number. What's going to happen because I didn't? So that kind of religious structure that we have where if we go against it, someone will punish us, we do naturally just adopt that with whatever external forces. So if you read your horoscope and you're like, Oh wow, Mercury is conjunct Pluto today. I need to be careful. You will be more defensive and it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy and you are still allowing something else to influence how you react to stuff. And that is the opposite of everything we've been teaching, which is all about empowerment.

Now, what I find really ironic though is, and maybe you'll have an answer for this because I don't fully put this in my brain yet, is that once you get to a point where you're fully in your power, you don't actually need those things anyway. So could we argue that they're all redundant from the start? What is the benefit of them? Cause obviously there is one and I think to myself all the time, God, how lucky I am that I have you and I have this amazing experience. Literally people will pay thousands and thousands of pounds to have something that I have every day all day. You know what I mean? How lucky am I? But then the question comes is that . . .

Liz: Just a text away

Rhea: The question then comes is that at some point when you're in your power, do you need it? Is it useful? When do you, Liz, use it? ‘Cause you're fully in your power, so when do you use it? What do you use it for?

Liz: When I need clarity, when I really cannot absolutely get it from just my inner knowing or through a talk with somebody, is really when I just want to understand something on that deeper spiritual level.

Rhea: When you say your inner knowing, is that different from your relationship with the Guides?

Liz: Sometimes. So on a professional level with Guidance, aside sessions, we work with them very closely to develop this podcast. And without them, I'm not really sure exactly how this podcast would be organized. It's kind of that mystery, if you will, of well, let them surprise us and that's one thing. When your work involves Guidance really does involve working with Spirit, if you will. That kind of partnership does involve a level of trust to be able to say, okay, show me what you got. What are we going to share? What am I? I'm here to serve. Let's serve and let's bring out something like Season 3. We introduced a new relationship paradigm. Let's help people understand something and just use me as that vessel.

Rhea: Well, Seasons 1 and 2 were all about teaching people power and we've redefined love. We've redefined power. We've redefined trust. We've redefined peace. I mean, we are redefining a lot here.

Liz: Yeah. In order to enable people to enter 5D as smoothly as possible, with as high a consciousness as possible, given where people have been. We can know that it's not necessarily us, that we're not just making it up. And that knowing really comes from, well, I know myself. I know how my voice sounds in my head, so I can also distinguish the other voices in my head, but I'm also grounded enough in this life that they don't necessarily . . . this is not something where they guide my daily life, if you will.

Rhea: And I don't think I'm going schizophrenic.

Liz: So that's the professional stuff. Now, if I use them sort of like, as you've kind of needed a little extra, if something personal has hit me to get a spiritual perspective. Actually, no, to be fair, really when it comes to myself or something personal, I almost don't really want to do it by myself.

Rhea: So you prefer someone else to do it for you, or you prefer just not to involve them?

Liz: Not until I feel clear. There are just those people you can go to, those deep friends and you get answers like that, and it's almost like they don't even have to say anything to you.

Rhea: You're talking about your inner knowing. You said if not, there's those things. You have your inner knowing. So what is knowing? How would you describe knowing?

Liz: A knowing is this immutable, indisputable sense of self and all the truth that emanates from your sense of self, and it's not a right or wrong kind of truth. It is just a sense that to me, this is the only way it can be, and therefore this is the only way I can be.

Rhea: So knowing isn't necessarily I know what's going to happen?

Liz: No, not at all.

Rhea: Knowing is just I know that if I don't say or do this in this way, I will not be true to myself.

Liz: Exactly.

Rhea: And therefore, I will do it. It's not walking in fear. It's walking into the known.

Liz: Yes. Even if you cannot articulate with that known is. The only way that you can be enabled in your knowing is to be fully in your power. If you ever have something happen in your life not so great, I think everyone has. Something really hurtful or you might've just made this grave error in judgment and there was just some kind of crazy fallout and you might've thought, Oh God, I really shouldn't have done that. I wish I hadn't done that. But then you can also think, you know what? It could not have been any other way. And I can go back years and years and years and try to pinpoint the one moment that could have changed at all, and that would have never happened. But for me, there was a knowing that I could not have written the story any differently. If I had, I would not be the person I am today. If I had XYZ, things would not have happened that would have brought me to this point, and it's that level of knowing that as I go, I am writing the story and I know somehow I'm going to come out the other end and getting to that end is going to get me to a level of self-affirming ownership that I would not have been able to do if I had always been thinking about following everyone else's rules.

Rhea: So really what knowing is, you know, we've been talking a lot through this whole podcast about kind of facing your fears in order to heal your traumas and recognize that you are whole and perfect, and everything that happened happened the way it did in order to get you to realize your power. So the more you heal yourself, the more you trust yourself and the more you do so, the more you're able to connect to your truth and to your divinity, which is what we've been saying. As a result, what happens is, is that you also connect to your inner knowing, i.e. you really learn to know who you are. And from there, the decisions you make are always authentic because they are coming from "I know who I am" space. And so the next knowing that you have is whatever happens will be as a result of my power, of my knowing, because I've made those decisions from that space.

And so it's not a: I knew that he was going to call me at 4:00 PM, even though those things kind of happen sometimes too.

Liz: Oh yeah.

Rhea: Or I knew that I had to text him, but I didn't know why, and then all these crazy things happened as a result. You can have all of those instincts and follow those a hundred percent, but the knowing is a far more grounded thing of I am in me, I am me and everything outside of that is a representation of me. So the reason why we don't think we know ourselves is that we're still living someone else's story. We're still living the story of our pain, our traumas, our relationships, which we've created as a result of separation, which we've created as a result of someone else telling us what is right and wrong. Once we're able to step out of that separation and step into unity and oneness with ourselves, we're able to really see that we can rely on our own knowing of who we are and what is best for us.

Liz: Entirely. And it may not make sense.

Rhea: It may not make sense.

Liz: And that's the mystery bit.

Rhea: And a lot of the time, it doesn't make sense. It's just, I know I have to do this and I don't know why.

Liz: Well, I'm going to exercise the one choice, even if it doesn't make sense to anyone else.

Rhea: Exactly.

Liz: And it may not even make sense to you. You might just look back and think, God, I don't even know what the fuck I was thinking. I really don't know. It might be a couple of days, a week, months later, we were like, oh thank God that happened, because we seem to always be aiming for this sense of completion and perfection in the immediate. Everything I do has to yield a very positive result. If it doesn't, there's something wrong with me, there's something wrong with my choice, et cetera, et cetera. I am not good enough. We need to remind ourselves time and again, especially when we're making some of those mistakes or we're doing something and it really seems illogical to everyone else, I'm here for my growth. And it might just be that I've got some karmic shit to work out, and maybe I just need to be doing that right now, instead of doing all these things that on the surface will make me look amazing.

Rhea: That shift in perspective does really change everything. Because once I started looking at stuff as just this is going to either heal something old or teach something new, it really did change the way in which I took my decisions because it felt that the risks were much lower, regardless of my choice. Because if you can believe that there is no right or wrong, and that whatever decision you make will always be in your highest good, then the "old fashioned" we'll call it belief that if I make the wrong decision, I won't survive goes. So it's much easier to follow your knowing once you have really healed the fact that you aren't not good enough, if that makes sense.

Liz: Completely.

Rhea: They really do go hand in hand, so I think it makes sense that in season one, when we spoke about knowing it was more kind of, you just know something like they're going to call, or you just have this gut instinct and you follow it. It makes sense that that's how we would define it and that's still the case. But the more you step into your power, the more you learn who you are, the more you know yourself, that knowing can also become expanded too.

Liz: Exactly. And that level of knowing is what gives us peace. That kind of knowing is what can bring us the greatest peace.

Rhea: Which makes sense.

Liz: Yes. And which is what we've been talking about the past few episodes is really about developing that level of peace within. So I think for anyone who's a parent or anyone who has grown up with a kind of trauma that has really stayed with them, you can constantly question if I had done X, then would this have happened? If I hadn't done this, then would this have happened? And if I hadn't done this, would I not have gotten kicked out of my high school? That's my personal example. If I hadn't done this other thing, would she have not called me amoral? But I'll tell you why I did everything I did, and something that I had always been really connected to a particular truth from the time I was conscious that I was capable of a single thought. I was here for something; I had a purpose, and so many young people had that knowing from the time that they entered the world. I'm here for something. It gets beaten out of you. It gets worked out of you, because you develop this very limited sense of what your purpose must be or look like because you have to go to school and then you have to have a career.

Rhea: If we were to embrace our purpose, we wouldn't be controllable. Therefore, we wouldn't work in separation, so no one was allowed to be special in separation. I remember growing up and feeling like I had a reason, but then so much happened to me that I thought, Oh, that can't be true. That can't be true. And I would bet that most people grew up knowing they had a reason and probably were able to pinpoint kind of what that reason was, but it does get beaten out of us to the point where we doubt it and we doubt ourselves. So it does make sense that the final bit to click in once you've really known yourself is to finally accept that that feeling that you have and you're like, I know I'm here for something, you can finally kind of re-accept that feeling too. And it does make sense it's one of the last things to come, and so once you can really understand that, and you can trust that knowing, that core knowing, then all the other knowings I guess kind of come from that.

Liz: They really do. I was often the outlier. I could never really have a lot of friends or I was in one friendship group and two months later in a different friendship group. Everything was just so in and out for me, but deep down that was never going to change the trajectory of my life, and I knew that to my very core that it almost didn't even matter.

Rhea: So then my question is kind of tying in the questions that we were speaking about earlier with the Guides, as we were making the jokey example of how the Guides will tell me something and I will tend to go the other way. In those instances, for example, I've always thought to myself, the way I've always known it to be is that it happened the way it was meant to happen. I made the decision I was meant to make, and the information I received from you or the Guides or from anywhere else was just helping me clarify that. So that's the way I kind of see it, and I guess to answer my own question at the beginning about giving away your power to these things, really the antidote to that is to understand you're not meant to give away your power. You're more to use this as another tool to clarify your own knowing and follow that instead. So with the Dave example, maybe I was never meant to delete his number.

Liz: You know, so you make a choice and that decision will bring you to the same learning in a different way.

Rhea: Exactly. So either way, you're still going to hit the same points.

Liz: Yes, absolutely. It might take a little bit longer as you found it was a few months later in which you sort of came full circle with that.

Rhea: But I think in some ways I got the greatest healing from it the way it happened

Liz: In the end, we need to be able to design what is going to work best for us. What will bring me to my greatest healing because only I can really know what is going to bring me my greatest peace.

Rhea: Because ultimately, kind of harking back to one of the last episodes of Season 3 when we were talking about pain and scars, and how sometimes the learning process itself can leave its own scars.

Liz: Oh completely.

Rhea: Actually, I believe that a lot of the choices I made during that time and what I'm seeing now is helping me transcend that learning process as well. Again, it's just this beautiful way of healing something with those same players that allows me to really see the story differently. So yes, I couldn't have designed it better because really for me, the goal now is healing, is believing in the mystery that I have built. So in order to do that, the things that are working out in a certain way have made that much more possible for me, especially considering what it took to get me here in such a short space of time.

And so if we were to talk about divinity that for me is what it means. It doesn't mean that obviously you can go spiritual, metaphysical, but for me in my grounded version of divinity is that I know that it'll be okay and that I am able to create myself as Rhea, the most perfect scenarios to get me to live the life I've always wanted, not as a cautionary tale, but as a hopeful story, as evidence that this works. That's why everything I do, whether it's creatively, intellectually, spiritually, emotionally, it all kind of boils down to that of I've experienced some stuff that I have to express out in all the different ways in which we do that. I have learnt it through an amazing relationship with someone who can speak to a bunch of different peeps, which is fucking cool, and I will transform my life and transcend my crap. And that is all parts of my purpose. So everything I do links back to that because it's all linked back to me, which is the girl who really tried to be everyone else's definitions of love to receive it, who finally faced her crap and went to what felt like the seven levels of hell to fight for herself and to come out on the other side whole enough to make choices that finally are aligned with her truth.

Liz: You know, we know that we haven't burned out our karma, that our story isn't finished, if by our actions we hurt ourselves and as a result, possibly hurt others in our lives. And that's okay. It might just be we're still getting to know ourselves. And it's important whether we are the ones on the receiving end of somebody's actions that are hurting us so that we can see that perhaps their story is still continuing, give them that compassion that they need while they're out there insulting us or hurting us and whatever. And if we're the ones doing that, it really is merely that there is some pain that still needs to be tended to.

Rhea: In the end of the day, whatever you do, you are getting closer to where you need to go, as long as you don't just avoid and pretend it's not happening at all

Liz: Completely. Being able to sit with it and show ourselves some compassion over it and not beat ourselves up for it.

Rhea: ‘Cause really that's what knowing is to kind of link it is that when we are giving ourselves over to a higher power or we're giving ourselves over to someone else's power, then all we're doing is we're saying to ourselves; you don't know enough and you don't know enough because you are not good enough. Whereas when you flip it around and you say, I am good enough, and I know what's best for me.